Adulting · Confession · Family · friends · Growing up · Job · Kids · life · Residential treatment center · True life · True story · work

What it’s like Working in an RTC. 


Awesome. 

Awesome in the same way getting a shark bite is awesome. It’s not, but you have a cool story of heroism to tell after the fact.

But seriously, I actually love my boys, but like with anything else, they can be absolutely infuriating at times. 

Unfortunately, you can’t take those infuriating times to heart because they often don’t mean what they say and don’t know how to express themselves. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when the most vile things come out of their mouths and they mean it… but most of the time they don’t… at least I tell myself that. 

Every single day is trying and it’s exhausting and it makes you question why you come to work to have kitchen chairs thrown at you, or your life threatened (empty threats, thank goodness), or the siding of a building smack you in the head… but at the end of the day, if you made one kid feel seen and/or heard, that’s enough. 

It takes a special person to work in a residential treatment center. I’ve been at mine for 4 years and I’ve seen more people come and go than stay. Some people last a day, a week, if you’re lucky they last a month but then they just stop showing up… but some of us stay and we stay because we know the kids need us. They need stability. They need people who aren’t there only for a paycheck, but to do what they can to help these kids in a system that fails them every single day. 

I left full-time because I needed more money, but I stayed part-time because I didn’t want the kids to feel abandoned. I’ve seen how they react when staff quit, or get fired, or forget about them, and it’s terrible. You may not realize it, but we make bonds with these kids and when they graduate and move on from the RTC, it’s heartbreaking. 

If we’re being honest, some of them I’d help pack their bags and move them out myself, but for the most part, my boys are good and they respect me the way I respect them. When I come to work they all come say hello and ask for a hug. They ask me if I’ll be the one to take them off campus. And I know that I don’t have to worry about them because we have an understanding. 

So, in a nutshell, that’s what it’s like to work in a RTC. It can be awesome, but it can also test your patience and crush your soul. How it affects you depends on the person you are. Either you’re strong enough to work with these kids, or you’re not. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared

Family · friends · Honeymoon · invitations · Love · RSVP · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Finally, a Wedding!


One wedding down, one to go!

One half of A.Squared had a gorgeous wedding this passed weekend. It. Was. Spectacular. There was food before there was food, before there was food! 

She had food in the hospitality room before the ceremony because as we all know, those can last a while. And after that was the cocktail hour with a ton of food. And a bar and bartender that descended out of the ceiling, it was intense!  

Next we went to the main hall and they had one of the most bad ass entrances of all time! The sweetheart table was on a moving platform and it spun around to reveal them dancing, with a huge sign behind them and their names on a screen with  fireworks.

And the bride looked absolutely beautiful


Yaasss girl, slay, all day. 

The dinner, delicious. AND the staff came around asking if we wanted seconds of the main course! Or if we wanted to try something else! That was a first, and very cool. 

To save money, she made her favors. She makes soap as a part time job and made probably close 200 bars of soap. And they smell amazing!

If this wedding was on that TLC show 4 weddings, there would be no competition and she’d win a free honeymoon to a dream destination.
 
But IRL, she got a free vacation to Greece so who is the real winner here?

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,


A.Squared

Adulting · Fake friends · Family · friends · Growing up · In-laws · Love · Mean girls · Opinions · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Weddings Bring Out The Worst In People. 

Shout out to the friends who you don’t have to be in constant contact with. 
Having a wedding really brings out the worst in people. It certainly brings out the best in some people, but what you don’t hear about is how horrible people are… people that you thought were friends and even people you’re related to so, don’t be surprised if you get let down.

I’m not saying this to be mean or ruin your special day, I’m saying it because no one told me (and the other half of A.Squared) and we were blindsided by both family and ‘friends’. 

When you have a wedding, it’s supposed to be the happiest time in your life, but there are a lot of bumps along the way. Imagine flying down a Rocky Mountain in a little red wagon, because it’s comparable to that. 

So now, I’ll share with you our experiences.

I invited a couple to my wedding who I thought we were friends with. When asking for their new address, they made it very, very clear we weren’t friends anymore. Ok, cool. But it didn’t stop there. They proceeded to throw stuff in our face that had no connection to the invitation itself or them being invited, things that had nothing to do with them and things that were over 1-1.5 years old. I was upset at first about the whole thing because they knew what my circumstances were and disregarded them, but now, I’m relieved. Two less people to pay for and toxicity is gone from my life. 

My partner had family issues. I won’t get into too much detail but basically her future sister-in-law ruins everything, and her future mother and father-in-law make everything difficult, including withholding money from them to finish paying off the wedding. Money they were promised, that was acquired at a special party to raise money for their wedding. 


The point here is, weddings sometimes bring out the worst in people and there’s nothing you can do about it. You have to let it roll of your back and roll with the punches because they’re going to keep coming no matter what you do. Grab a glass of wine and let it go. 

Remember that it’s your day. You’re the most important person and whatever you want goes. Don’t be afraid to speak up and take charge. Don’t let anyone take anything away from you or your day. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gentlemen,


A.Squared

Adulting · Family · In-laws · invitations · Love · Opinions · RSVP · Uncategorized · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Invitations/RSVP’s… Part 3?


Ok.

Here’s the thing. Getting an invitation to a wedding doesn’t mean you get to ask for special things, unless you have a food allergy/need. That you can have without a problem.

What you can’t have is an extra invitation for people you want to invite. If you want to pay for this 20+ grand wedding, by all means invite whoever you want, but if you’re not, kindly shut up. 

If it’s an adults only wedding, please don’t ask to bring your kids because the answer is no. If you were given an invitation without a guest, it’s ok to ask why but don’t demand you get to bring a guest. The reason you didn’t get one is because you’re probably not dating anyone or the person you are dating is a terrible human being. I mean, I don’t know you but those are two pretty good reasons. 


And to the brides and the grooms out there, because you too mess up on occasion, for the love of god, have an open bar. If you don’t, you can’t really expect people to give you a nice gift (in NY, we do cash). You can’t expect people to come to your wedding, give you cash, and then continue to open their wallets to enjoy themselves… or get through your horrifically boring wedding. Just sayin’. 


Keep it classy. Everyone. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,


A.Squared

Adulting · invitations · Love · RSVP · Uncategorized · Wedding · Wedding Planning

Let’s Get Real About RSVP’s


Basically, don’t be a jerk. 

If you get a wedding invitation, respond. If you know you can’t go, RSVP right away instead of waiting til the last minute. 1) The bride and groom will actually be relieved they’re saving money because weddings are so incredibly expensive and 2) It’s a dick move not to respond. If you can’t understand this logic, wait til you get married and don’t complain when it takes forever to get your guests responses back. 

Another thing, if you get an invitation from someone and you don’t feel like you should have, for whatever reason, don’t be an asshole about it. Don’t contact the bride and/or groom to let them know you’re not friends and question why you were even invited. It makes you look like a piece of trash, and it makes the bride and groom feel terrible because they clearly valued the friendship you all had more than you did. 

The bottom line is, RSVP as soon as you get the invitation if you like the couple that is inviting you. Invitations go out early enough that you most likely don’t have anything planned that day so, why are you waiting? You get the RSVP card and an envelope with a stamp on it so all you have to do is put it back in the mailbox. And likewise, if you open an invitation and think to yourself ‘Wow, I hate these people,’ RSVP no. Period. 

Just do it. Don’t be a dick. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared

Adulting · Family · Love · Opinions · Uncategorized · Wedding · Wedding Planning

Guestbook!


Don’t get a boring guestbook that people will inevitably forget to sign… or that you’re going to forget about. It’s going to collect dust in your attic and you probably won’t be able to read most of he handwriting in it anyway because people will be signing at weird angles because the tables a weird height and there’s no chair. 

Opt for a more modern version of the guestbook. 

Here are a few of my favorite ideas:


These are great alternatives AND you can hang them in your home as decorations and enjoy them FOREVER!

Plus, they’re interactive and really fun. And they’ll even give your wedding a little extra flair. 

After all, no one wants to be boring, especially on their wedding day!

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared

Adulting · Love · Opinions

The Feels…


I know its been a while since we’ve been back to update you on whats going on in life but, with two weddings coming up, just a few months apart, we’ve been a little busy!

Anyway, I was just reflecting on life and it’s pretty intense.

So many friends have come and gone, friends I thought I would have forever, and it blows my mind. There are still moments where I wish I could call up one of my old best friends just to tell them something that happened, and then I remember, sadly, that I haven’t spoken to her in… years. And then, I remember again that it wasn’t my fault that the friendship ended. It was a mutual decision, though unspoken, that just unfolded before us before we knew what happened. One day we woke up and four years passed us by without a single word. Still, all this time later, it stings.

Relationships. When I look back on all of the guys I dated before I found my future husband, half the time I wonder what I was thinking and the other half… my only excuse is I must have been drunk. Don’t get me wrong, some of them were great and they taught me lots of things like what I don’t want and how to put my foot down to get what I deserve. I truly believe that all of those relationships that went horribly wrong helped me grow as a person, made me stronger, and made me understand what I deserve and what I need, and a few years ago, I found exactly that. If I would have met my fiance any sooner, I don’t think I would have been the same person, and I don’t think we would have been as perfectly compatible as we are. So, every miserable jerk that I dated and every one that was a good guy has set me up for the perfect guy, and I couldn’t be happier or luckier to be with him today.

Now, in just a few months I’ll get to marry the most perfect guy I could have ever asked for, who has been with me through the hardest of times, who I love more than I thought possible.

So, the advice I have after all of this is, if you feel somethings wrong, it probably is, so move on. If you feel he isn’t giving you 100% or treating you the way you deserve to be treated, move on. If he doesn’t go out of his way to make sure you know he loves you, move on. Life is too short to stay in a relationship hoping that it will get better. It probably wont because at this point, you’ve both already fallen into rolls that are too hard to change.

Don’t give up. Wait for the man who sweeps you off of your feet and makes you feel as beautiful and amazing as you are.

 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared

Honeymoon · Love · Wedding · Wedding Planning

Honeymoons


The best part about the wedding is the honeymoon, right?

Leave all the stress and family behind and go on vacation with the love of your life. Maybe make a baby while you’re away, the possibilities are endless!

Do you want a relaxing vacation or do you want an adventure? Beach or monuments? It’s the one time in your life you get to be super selfish and go and do whatever you want and no one gives you any lip about it (unless you have MIL that doesn’t know how to mind her own BIZ).

#TreatYoSelf

Go somewhere you know you won’t be able to get to once you have kids. Do something you wouldn’t normally do because once those babies start popping out, everything gets a lot more expensive! Live it up! 

Whatever you do, don’t listen to other people. Make up your own minds. Oh, Susan went to China and loved it? Good for her, China isn’t for everyone. And it’s very complicated to get there. Like do you need a visa or not because some rules don’t require one if you’re stopping somewhere else and only staying a certain amount of time in China. Who has time for that kind of planning? I just planned a wedding for 2 years, no more, please. 

Anyway, I hope you plan the most magical honeymoon ever and enjoy each other as much as possible because from what I’ve heard, it’s all downhill after that. 

Haha, just kidding… but seriously, enjoy your honeymoon. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gentlemen,


A.Squared


Bombing · England · Family · Growing up · Love · Manchester · Prayers · Safety · Social Media

Manchester


I’m going to take a break from the sarcasm for a moment if I may…

Our thoughts and prayers go to everyone affected by the heartbreaking event last night in Manchester, and all of the senseless acts that have been happening as of late. 

What is this world coming to? Every time you turn on the news, something terrible has happened. Innocent people are dying because of people who are cowards! It’s disgusting. 

Times are scary but we can not live in fear. We have to continue to live our lives because life is beautiful and there’s is so much ahead for us.

Keep your heads up. Be strong. Be safe. And love one another. 



Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared

Adulting · Body image · Growing up · Love · Mean girls · Social Media

Love Yourself 

Girls, you need to love yourselves. Don’t let any media or advertisement make you feel less than. There is no perfect body shape, no perfect hair do, no perfect makeup. There is no such thing as perfection, but if you feel good and beautiful and love yourself, that’s as close to perfect as you can be. 

The media spends so much time showing the world that thin is in, and anything else is not good enough. This is no way to live and it’s frustrating to see that this is how most brands choose to advertise. And the fact that those brands that use average or plus size models get ridiculed on social media is disgusting. 

If you’re the type of person who hides behind twitter or some other account just so you can make fun of people who feel comfortable in their own skin, weight isn’t the problem. You have insecurities that you need to workout and girl, you need to love yourself too even though you’re mean. 
If you’re a mean girl, first of all that’s shitty. Why are you so angry? And why do you feel the need to make fun of people for personal satisfaction? 

Take some time and really look at yourself and find out what makes you feel good and what makes you happy and work on yourself so you stop being such a jerk. 

And to those girls who already love themselves, no matter what size you are or how much makeup you wear, you go girl! Liv e your best life and love it and don’t let the haters bring you down because at the end of the day, you’re still fabulous. 

Love yourself and love others. Don’t be an asshole. It’s that simple. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared