Adulting · Confession · Family · friends · invitations · life · Love · True story · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

WHERE DID THE TIME GO?


With my wedding drawing near, I have an undeniable knot in my stomach that feeds on anxiety. 

I’ve gone in and out of the wedding room (spare room over-run with wedding essentials, bridal party gifts, unfinished centerpieces… you get the picture) a hundred times and get so overwhelmed that I shut the door and run away…

 
This is not a helpful behavior, as you might have figured out. I kept telling myself I had time before I really needed to get down to business and now business is in 2 months…

 
SO, in the next 2 weeks my goal is to have the centerpieces complete, finish the favors, and get the ceremony written up. We’re having my fiancé’s uncle marry us and he needs a script. He’s a great guy and always so willing to help with anything anyone needs, but he has a little trouble focusing.

 
Have I mentioned we haven’t gone for tuxes yet? Cause we haven’t gone for tuxes yet… We have an appointment so I’m not a total failure in that area. And I’ve got my first official wedding dress fitting scheduled as well so I’ve got that going for me.

 
All the vendors are locked down and mostly paid for. Only one of them is a day of payment. Don’t even talk to me about the balance that is still owed to the venue because it makes my skin crawl. If I can offer you any advice at all, make monthly payments to your venue. That was our plan but because we thought we had SO MUCH TIME LEFT, we skipped some months and now here we are, scraping change from under out car seats and between the couch cushions…

 
I’m joking, but seriously we have a large balance and it is sickening.

 
So, NEWSFLASH, you don’t have that much time. It can’t wait. It won’t be available if you hold off another week. And for the love of god, find a comfortable pair of shoes as soon as possible so you’re not driving yourself crazy and running yourself ragged. You’ll thank me later.
 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

 

A.Squared 

Family · friends · Honeymoon · invitations · Love · RSVP · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Finally, a Wedding!


One wedding down, one to go!

One half of A.Squared had a gorgeous wedding this passed weekend. It. Was. Spectacular. There was food before there was food, before there was food! 

She had food in the hospitality room before the ceremony because as we all know, those can last a while. And after that was the cocktail hour with a ton of food. And a bar and bartender that descended out of the ceiling, it was intense!  

Next we went to the main hall and they had one of the most bad ass entrances of all time! The sweetheart table was on a moving platform and it spun around to reveal them dancing, with a huge sign behind them and their names on a screen with  fireworks.

And the bride looked absolutely beautiful


Yaasss girl, slay, all day. 

The dinner, delicious. AND the staff came around asking if we wanted seconds of the main course! Or if we wanted to try something else! That was a first, and very cool. 

To save money, she made her favors. She makes soap as a part time job and made probably close 200 bars of soap. And they smell amazing!

If this wedding was on that TLC show 4 weddings, there would be no competition and she’d win a free honeymoon to a dream destination.
 
But IRL, she got a free vacation to Greece so who is the real winner here?

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,


A.Squared

Adulting · Fake friends · Family · friends · Growing up · In-laws · Love · Mean girls · Opinions · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Weddings Bring Out The Worst In People. 

Shout out to the friends who you don’t have to be in constant contact with. 
Having a wedding really brings out the worst in people. It certainly brings out the best in some people, but what you don’t hear about is how horrible people are… people that you thought were friends and even people you’re related to so, don’t be surprised if you get let down.

I’m not saying this to be mean or ruin your special day, I’m saying it because no one told me (and the other half of A.Squared) and we were blindsided by both family and ‘friends’. 

When you have a wedding, it’s supposed to be the happiest time in your life, but there are a lot of bumps along the way. Imagine flying down a Rocky Mountain in a little red wagon, because it’s comparable to that. 

So now, I’ll share with you our experiences.

I invited a couple to my wedding who I thought we were friends with. When asking for their new address, they made it very, very clear we weren’t friends anymore. Ok, cool. But it didn’t stop there. They proceeded to throw stuff in our face that had no connection to the invitation itself or them being invited, things that had nothing to do with them and things that were over 1-1.5 years old. I was upset at first about the whole thing because they knew what my circumstances were and disregarded them, but now, I’m relieved. Two less people to pay for and toxicity is gone from my life. 

My partner had family issues. I won’t get into too much detail but basically her future sister-in-law ruins everything, and her future mother and father-in-law make everything difficult, including withholding money from them to finish paying off the wedding. Money they were promised, that was acquired at a special party to raise money for their wedding. 


The point here is, weddings sometimes bring out the worst in people and there’s nothing you can do about it. You have to let it roll of your back and roll with the punches because they’re going to keep coming no matter what you do. Grab a glass of wine and let it go. 

Remember that it’s your day. You’re the most important person and whatever you want goes. Don’t be afraid to speak up and take charge. Don’t let anyone take anything away from you or your day. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gentlemen,


A.Squared

Adulting · Family · In-laws · invitations · Love · Opinions · RSVP · Uncategorized · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Invitations/RSVP’s… Part 3?


Ok.

Here’s the thing. Getting an invitation to a wedding doesn’t mean you get to ask for special things, unless you have a food allergy/need. That you can have without a problem.

What you can’t have is an extra invitation for people you want to invite. If you want to pay for this 20+ grand wedding, by all means invite whoever you want, but if you’re not, kindly shut up. 

If it’s an adults only wedding, please don’t ask to bring your kids because the answer is no. If you were given an invitation without a guest, it’s ok to ask why but don’t demand you get to bring a guest. The reason you didn’t get one is because you’re probably not dating anyone or the person you are dating is a terrible human being. I mean, I don’t know you but those are two pretty good reasons. 


And to the brides and the grooms out there, because you too mess up on occasion, for the love of god, have an open bar. If you don’t, you can’t really expect people to give you a nice gift (in NY, we do cash). You can’t expect people to come to your wedding, give you cash, and then continue to open their wallets to enjoy themselves… or get through your horrifically boring wedding. Just sayin’. 


Keep it classy. Everyone. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,


A.Squared

Adulting · invitations · Love · RSVP · Uncategorized · Wedding · Wedding Planning

Let’s Get Real About RSVP’s


Basically, don’t be a jerk. 

If you get a wedding invitation, respond. If you know you can’t go, RSVP right away instead of waiting til the last minute. 1) The bride and groom will actually be relieved they’re saving money because weddings are so incredibly expensive and 2) It’s a dick move not to respond. If you can’t understand this logic, wait til you get married and don’t complain when it takes forever to get your guests responses back. 

Another thing, if you get an invitation from someone and you don’t feel like you should have, for whatever reason, don’t be an asshole about it. Don’t contact the bride and/or groom to let them know you’re not friends and question why you were even invited. It makes you look like a piece of trash, and it makes the bride and groom feel terrible because they clearly valued the friendship you all had more than you did. 

The bottom line is, RSVP as soon as you get the invitation if you like the couple that is inviting you. Invitations go out early enough that you most likely don’t have anything planned that day so, why are you waiting? You get the RSVP card and an envelope with a stamp on it so all you have to do is put it back in the mailbox. And likewise, if you open an invitation and think to yourself ‘Wow, I hate these people,’ RSVP no. Period. 

Just do it. Don’t be a dick. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared

Adulting · Family · Love · Opinions · Uncategorized · Wedding · Wedding Planning

Guestbook!


Don’t get a boring guestbook that people will inevitably forget to sign… or that you’re going to forget about. It’s going to collect dust in your attic and you probably won’t be able to read most of he handwriting in it anyway because people will be signing at weird angles because the tables a weird height and there’s no chair. 

Opt for a more modern version of the guestbook. 

Here are a few of my favorite ideas:


These are great alternatives AND you can hang them in your home as decorations and enjoy them FOREVER!

Plus, they’re interactive and really fun. And they’ll even give your wedding a little extra flair. 

After all, no one wants to be boring, especially on their wedding day!

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared

Honeymoon · Love · Wedding · Wedding Planning

Honeymoons


The best part about the wedding is the honeymoon, right?

Leave all the stress and family behind and go on vacation with the love of your life. Maybe make a baby while you’re away, the possibilities are endless!

Do you want a relaxing vacation or do you want an adventure? Beach or monuments? It’s the one time in your life you get to be super selfish and go and do whatever you want and no one gives you any lip about it (unless you have MIL that doesn’t know how to mind her own BIZ).

#TreatYoSelf

Go somewhere you know you won’t be able to get to once you have kids. Do something you wouldn’t normally do because once those babies start popping out, everything gets a lot more expensive! Live it up! 

Whatever you do, don’t listen to other people. Make up your own minds. Oh, Susan went to China and loved it? Good for her, China isn’t for everyone. And it’s very complicated to get there. Like do you need a visa or not because some rules don’t require one if you’re stopping somewhere else and only staying a certain amount of time in China. Who has time for that kind of planning? I just planned a wedding for 2 years, no more, please. 

Anyway, I hope you plan the most magical honeymoon ever and enjoy each other as much as possible because from what I’ve heard, it’s all downhill after that. 

Haha, just kidding… but seriously, enjoy your honeymoon. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gentlemen,


A.Squared


Adulting · Family · Growing up · In-laws · Wedding · Wedding Planning

In-Laws


This is one of the more… tricky parts of getting married. You get a second family… and sometimes they suck. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes they’re awesome, so I’ve heard. In the end, it’s really what you make of it. 

Have you ever heard the phrase, ‘pick and choose your battles’, or ‘take it with a grain of salt’, or ‘you have to let it roll off your back’? Those will become your mantras. No matter what you do, you’ll be criticized. No matter what you do, you’ll be compared to someone else, probably your spouses brother or sister. No matter what you do, it will be wrong… unless you have one of those magical unicorns I’ve heard of that are actually awesome mother-in-laws… the odds aren’t in your favor so, accept that now. 

Your in-laws will grate on your nerves and test your patience all of the time, and unfortunately for you, you have to deal with it because you love your spouse. The worst part about it is, you can work yourself up and get super pissed off, but sometimes they don’t even know how annoying they are. They’re so set in their ways that when you come along and offer new ideas and new views, it irritates the shit out of them and then they in turn irritate the shit out of you. It’s a viscous circle. 

And worst case scenario, you have a mother-in-law who does everything she can to make you feel like garbage on a constant bases, but does it with a smile so she seems innocent, but you know what’s up. That kind of MIL knows exactly what she’s doing. She will complain and put you down any chance she can get because, after all, you’re taking away her son (or daughter). 

Do yourself a favor and smile every time she tries to knock you down a peg. Hang on tight and stick to your guns. Eventually she’ll see you don’t take anyone’s crap, especially not hers, and she’ll back off. And remember, it’s ok to stand up to her when she says something you don’t agree with. If she can’t respect you have an opinion, then she doesn’t deserve your respect at all. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared

Adulting · Growing up · Opinions · Wedding · Wedding Planning

Bridal Party

Picking your bridal party is kind of a big deal. First, you have to pick a maid of honor and a best man. Then you have to pick a group of people that mean a lot to you and people you want standing by your side for the most important moment of your life. 

Now, if you’re lucky, you have a sister and you don’t have to hurt anyone’s feelings when picking a MOH. If you have 2 sisters, you can have two MOH’s. If you have more than that, I’m sorry for your dad. If you don’t have any sisters but you have best friends, it can be a very tough decision. You want them to all be part of your day but you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or make anyone feel like they don’t matter as much as the others. Make sure you really think about who you want right next to you when you marry your best friend before you say anything to anyone. It’s a delicate situation and you should treat it as such. 

For the dudes, they don’t care as much. They’re not as sensitive and honestly, they’re probably there for the open bar so those decisions for best-man and groomsmen will be done so fast you’ll get whiplash. And you’ll feel crappy that it’s taking you so long. 

Now, in a perfect world you have your bridal party set, you have your MOH and best-man picked out. Life is good, right? 

Probably not. 

Now you have to figure out he order of your girls and guys after the MOH and best-man. Not a big deal… or is it? I don’t know about anyone else but this has been an ongoing discussion between me and my fiancé. We have a pretty big bridal party… not like 10 people big, but I’d say larger than normal. Within the bridal party there are couples because we have mutual friends. So, what do you do when one side of the couple means more than the other? Do you let go of emotional attachments and let them walk together because they’re a couple or do you put them in order of most important to least important? Or in order of who you’ve known the longest? Or by height? These seem like stupid questions and issues to have in the grand scheme of wedding planning, but they’re real… oh are they ever real…

I say, put your bridal party in order of importance. If they line up with their significant other, good for them. If not, it’s your day so who gives a crap? When they’re introduced at the reception they can walk with their significant other, but during the ceremony, I want my lineup from most important (and coincidentally length of relationship) to least important. Now, this doesn’t mean that some people aren’t important, it just means you’re putting people in an order that makes sense. 

Don’t get hung up on this. It will actually drive you crazy. Take my advice. Have the ones you’ve known the longest closest to you because they’ve helped you through more things and they just mean more, and they deserve to be closer to you when you’re marrying your soulmate. 

Save the loss of your sanity for planning out the seating chart. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared

Adulting · Growing up · Wedding · Wedding Planning

Lists!


You need lists. If you don’t sit down and write out every single thing you need to do before you get married, you’re going to forget something. 

I was going over wedding things this last weekend and realized I’m severely behind… because I never made a list. I booked all of my vendors and the hall and got my dress ordered… and then I just stopped. 

I forgot the table numbers, the gifts for the bridal party, suits for all the guys, undergarments, hair things, a cake topper, a cake cutter/server… if we’re being honest I haven’t even looked into getting a cake yet at all… so many things fell through the cracks and I’m scrambling now because everything costs money!

So I urge you to make your lists. Thankfully my wedding isn’t for several more months but it’s rapidly approaching… kind of like the ground when you bungee jump-very quickly and terrifyingly. 

And there are things you’re going to forget about. Did you get the flower girl and ring bearer gifts? Did you get the flower girl special flowers and the ring bearer a pillow or box or whatever you want the rings in? Did you remember you need special marker pens for your guestbook? Did you even remember a guestbook? Did you remember to actually finish the centerpieces? Did you get stands for the table numbers? Are you doing favors? Are you doing a seating chart or escort cards? Did you know escort cards are different than place cards? 

And don’t forget to set up appointments to meet with your vendors before the wedding so you can discuss things like musical preferences and photos you want the photographer to make sure s/he takes. 

Lastly, and thank god for my fiancé, don’t forget to pick the ceremony music. You want something special for the family, something special for the bridal party, and then a song just for you on your special day. 

And don’t get me started on the reception music because finding a song that 2 people agree on is a nightmare so don’t ask for the bridal parties input and just pick a song for them. It will save you a migraine. 

Speaking of bridal parties… did you decide on a lineup? Are you making sure that couples are walking together or ignoring couples and putting them in order from most important to least important, or according to length of time you knew them, or by height? Seems like an insignificant detail until you get to it!

Anyway, make a list. The Knot offers an awesome app and on it they have a checklist of things you should do and which month they should be completed according to your wedding date. Still make a list for the little things though, it’ll be a lifesaver, or at least a sanity saver. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared