Adulting · Confession · Family · friends · invitations · life · Love · RSVP · Seating Chart · True life · True story · Uncategorized · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Don’t Invite Eveyone You’ve Ever Met…

For the love of god, stop inviting me to weddings. 


I mean this in the nicest way possible… if there’s a nice way to say this. I feel like I’m working just to be able to give reasonable wedding gifts, and I’m no longer ‘about that life’.

And FYI, I swear to GOD if people don’t give me back what I’ve given them as a gift, I’m going to be so angry. Some of you are thinking ‘Wow, that’s selfish,’ and that’s ok because the ones that are thinking ‘Yes girl, preach!’ are the ones who truly get me. 

Weddings are so expensive. You never get back what you spend unless you’re fortunate enough to have parents help or pay for the whole thing (and if you are, I’m jealous!). And after all is said and done, you could have had a house. 

Thankfully we already have a house. 

Stupidly we decided to get a house at the same time as planning and paying for a wedding. 

I make bad choices, and I’ve accepted that. 



Anyway, if we haven’t spoken in a year, whether we’re related or not, don’t invite me to the wedding. I don’t need to be there. You know it. I know it. We’ve drifted apart. It’s probably because I don’t like you. It could be because you don’t like me. But let’s be honest, I’m a gem. You like me.
 
I’m kind of joking… but not 100%. 

Anyway, I’m going to give you the hard truth. If you don’t hangout with people regularly, odds are they don’t want to be invited to your wedding. In the last two years, I’ve been to a few dozen weddings. They’re all the same. Every bride is beautiful. The food is mediocre at best. The DJ’s are usually pretty good. The bands are decent. Photographers should be given awards for capturing love that isn’t always there. And if you don’t invite me to your wedding, I’m going to live, I swear. 

(Side Note: if you’re having a really cool, non-traditional wedding, still invite me. I like new things.)

Also, don’t act like saving money isn’t the best thing on earth when you’re planning a wedding. I’m helping you save money by not being invited. That’s TWO plates you’re saving money on. The least you can do is thank me. 

So, with all that being said, cool it with the invitations. I’m poor. I have no social life. I can barely afford food right now. 

We’ll see how things are after my wedding, which you probably weren’t invited to because we haven’t spoken since Hugh school, when I no longer owe every red cent to a vendor or the venue. I mean, I probably still won’t want to go, but you can ask. 


Much love and good luck ladies and gentlemen,



A.Squared

P.S. This blog was written with excessive sarcasm so don’t get your panties in a knot!

Family · friends · invitations · life · Love · Opinions · Seating Chart · True life · True story · Uncategorized · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Seating Charts…

Seating charts are the Devils work. 
Before you’ve done one, you think to yourself, how hard could this be? You put people at a table, there’s a table maximum, and you move to the next. 

Wrong. 

It’s hard. It’s especially hard if your parents get involved and tell you who can sit with who and who can’t. 

It’s EVEN HARDER if you come from an Italian family that is in the middle of a disagreement. 

Here’s what happens…
You get X number of tables and those tables usually sit 8-12 people, depending on venue and table size. That’s cool… until you put the people who CAN sit together at one table and get tables of 7 or 13… and get no groups that can fill in those gaps, or you get groups that will disown you if separate them. 

In the event that your only issue is fitting people at a table and not taking into account who they are and are not speaking to at the moment, consider yourself super lucky. 

I will tell you this, you will be so grateful for people who RSVP alone. These are the ones you will use to plug up the holes. They’re life savers. And anyone brave enough to go to a wedding alone will be able to hold their own at any table you sit them at. 

Take a deep breath, have some wine, not too much because the seating chart does have to make sense, and work it out on paper. 

It will eventually workout, hopefully before the wedding. Much love and good luck ladies and gentlemen,



A.Squared

Centerpieces · Hidden fees · In-laws · invitations · life · Love · Opinions · RSVP · True life · True story · Uncategorized · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Hidden Fees!


So, you find a venue you absolutely love and the price is only $109 per person! That’s amazing! That’s so much cheaper than other places that are $120, $150, $200 per person!

While the base price IS much lower than other venues, it doesn’t mean that you’re paying $109 per person. 

Not. Even. Close. 

Ever notice the two plus signs next to the per person price? That means plus tax and plus gratuity. That $109 per person is actually $144 per person when all is said and done. 

I bet you forgot to budget for that. I know I did! And it was a terrible surprise! After the initial shock, I had to recalculate and re-budget everything. Don’t get me wrong, I knew it would be more than a flat $109 because everything has tax but I wasn’t prepared for an additional $35 per plate! 

While we’re talking about per plate charges, weddings would be so much more affordable if it was socially acceptable to NOT have an open bar. My base price would have been $69 instead of $109! Open bar adds $40 per person. 

Highway robbery if you ask me. Give me wine and I’m good. I don’t need the whole bar. (P.S. Some places offer a beer and wine option for half the price of a full open bar).

BUT, it’s really crappy if you to expect a gift (in New York, it’s usually monetary) and then also expect people to open their wallets to buy their own drinks. That’s just my opinion. That and I know I’ve talked shit about people who haven’t had open bar because it’s kind of tacky. Unless you’re doing a super non-traditional wedding not at a venue, then it’s totally cool. But seriously, don’t have your wedding at a beautiful venue and then expect your guests to pay for overpriced drinks at the bar, that’s not cool. 

Let’s talk about some other fees. Like the addition of ANYTHING to your menu. Oh you want to add some vegetables or a meat and cheese platter to your cocktail hour? $5 per person. You want a pasta added to your reception? $5 per person. No big deal, it’s only $5 per person… but multiply that by 170 people and that’s almost another $1000. 

At this point, I’ve already sold my soul for the wedding so where am I going to pull this extra money from? If you say, ‘From your money saving tips post!’, I love you, but I’ve already saved all that I can, not including my sanity. 

Anyway, just be mindful when budgeting for your big day. Get all the facts and figures AFTER tax because that will make a huge difference for you and make the headache slightly less painful. 

Wine also helps the headache, but you already know how I feel about wine. 


Much love and good luck ladies and gents!


A.Squared

Centerpieces · invitations · RSVP · Uncategorized · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Wedding Disasters…

Everyone says that something will inevitably go wrong when planning your wedding… and I’ve been paranoid about that for the last year. 

Well, the paranoia is over because my my centerpieces were completely destroyed. My moms friend picked them up because she was going to bedazzle them for me, because she’s an angel, and someone rear-ended her on the way home. 

All of my beautiful GLASS centerpieces. Ruined. The centerpieces that I got for $150 flat for 17. I had gotten an amazing deal and jus like that… they’re gone. 

Now, we’re 5 weeks out to to the day, and I have no idea what we’re going to do. We’re strapped for cash because final payments need to be made, and I’ll never find anything that’s as perfect as what I had found. Anything now will be something I settle on because it’ll have to be cheap and it’s lost definitely last minute. 

BUT, the silver lining here is that at the end of the day, whether we have centerpieces or favors or cake or not, or if it monsoons or snows or whatever, I’m still marrying the man of my dreams. No matter what could go wrong, the love of my life will be at the end of the isle waiting for me. 

So ladies, whatever will be will be. A lot of things are going to be out of your control. Let it go. Remember the wedding is about marrying your soulmate. It’s not about all the bells and whistles that cost us a fortune and make us cut ourselves to sleep at night. 

Haha. 

Take a deep breath. Have a tall glass of wine. It’s going to be ok. 



Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared

Adulting · Fake friends · friends · Honeymoon · life · Love · RSVP · True life · True story · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Wedding Rants. 


RSVP’s have a due date. They also have a self addressed, stamped envelope for you to mail back your RSVP. PLEASE, tell me why it’s so hard to put it in the mailbox? You check your mail every day, just throw it in there!

Don’t send it to me 2 weeks late and expect me to squeeze you into the seating chart cause it’s not happening! And don’t think that just telling me you’re coming is sufficient. We invited 200+ people and I can’t remember if I ate breakfast at this point so send the damn RSVP! 

Next. Don’t let shitty people get you down. They will try, some of them won’t even realize they’re doing it (but believe, some do). Let it roll off your back. They feed off your feelings. Don’t let them see their negative attitudes phase you. 

Don’t wait til the last minute to do your centerpieces because it’s stressful and no one wants to help because everyone’s selfish. I’m kidding, but seriously, were 45 days out and I have ONE free weekend between now and the wedding and I have 300 things to do on that ONE. SINGLE. DAY.
 
No problem. I got this. 

After that I just need jewelry, an undergarment, a strapless bra, shoes… basically everything except the actual dress.

Ladies, do everything early. You can never do anything too early. 

That’s all I got for today. I’m so stressed out I don’t even know who I am right now. And it one more person tells me everything is going to work out I’m going smash their faces in because that’s useless advice!


Much love ladies and gentlemen,



A.Squared

Adulting · Confession · Family · friends · invitations · life · Love · True story · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

WHERE DID THE TIME GO?


With my wedding drawing near, I have an undeniable knot in my stomach that feeds on anxiety. 

I’ve gone in and out of the wedding room (spare room over-run with wedding essentials, bridal party gifts, unfinished centerpieces… you get the picture) a hundred times and get so overwhelmed that I shut the door and run away…

 
This is not a helpful behavior, as you might have figured out. I kept telling myself I had time before I really needed to get down to business and now business is in 2 months…

 
SO, in the next 2 weeks my goal is to have the centerpieces complete, finish the favors, and get the ceremony written up. We’re having my fiancé’s uncle marry us and he needs a script. He’s a great guy and always so willing to help with anything anyone needs, but he has a little trouble focusing.

 
Have I mentioned we haven’t gone for tuxes yet? Cause we haven’t gone for tuxes yet… We have an appointment so I’m not a total failure in that area. And I’ve got my first official wedding dress fitting scheduled as well so I’ve got that going for me.

 
All the vendors are locked down and mostly paid for. Only one of them is a day of payment. Don’t even talk to me about the balance that is still owed to the venue because it makes my skin crawl. If I can offer you any advice at all, make monthly payments to your venue. That was our plan but because we thought we had SO MUCH TIME LEFT, we skipped some months and now here we are, scraping change from under out car seats and between the couch cushions…

 
I’m joking, but seriously we have a large balance and it is sickening.

 
So, NEWSFLASH, you don’t have that much time. It can’t wait. It won’t be available if you hold off another week. And for the love of god, find a comfortable pair of shoes as soon as possible so you’re not driving yourself crazy and running yourself ragged. You’ll thank me later.
 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

 

A.Squared 

Family · friends · Honeymoon · invitations · Love · RSVP · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Finally, a Wedding!


One wedding down, one to go!

One half of A.Squared had a gorgeous wedding this passed weekend. It. Was. Spectacular. There was food before there was food, before there was food! 

She had food in the hospitality room before the ceremony because as we all know, those can last a while. And after that was the cocktail hour with a ton of food. And a bar and bartender that descended out of the ceiling, it was intense!  

Next we went to the main hall and they had one of the most bad ass entrances of all time! The sweetheart table was on a moving platform and it spun around to reveal them dancing, with a huge sign behind them and their names on a screen with  fireworks.

And the bride looked absolutely beautiful


Yaasss girl, slay, all day. 

The dinner, delicious. AND the staff came around asking if we wanted seconds of the main course! Or if we wanted to try something else! That was a first, and very cool. 

To save money, she made her favors. She makes soap as a part time job and made probably close 200 bars of soap. And they smell amazing!

If this wedding was on that TLC show 4 weddings, there would be no competition and she’d win a free honeymoon to a dream destination.
 
But IRL, she got a free vacation to Greece so who is the real winner here?

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,


A.Squared

Adulting · Fake friends · Family · friends · Growing up · In-laws · Love · Mean girls · Opinions · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Weddings Bring Out The Worst In People. 

Shout out to the friends who you don’t have to be in constant contact with. 
Having a wedding really brings out the worst in people. It certainly brings out the best in some people, but what you don’t hear about is how horrible people are… people that you thought were friends and even people you’re related to so, don’t be surprised if you get let down.

I’m not saying this to be mean or ruin your special day, I’m saying it because no one told me (and the other half of A.Squared) and we were blindsided by both family and ‘friends’. 

When you have a wedding, it’s supposed to be the happiest time in your life, but there are a lot of bumps along the way. Imagine flying down a Rocky Mountain in a little red wagon, because it’s comparable to that. 

So now, I’ll share with you our experiences.

I invited a couple to my wedding who I thought we were friends with. When asking for their new address, they made it very, very clear we weren’t friends anymore. Ok, cool. But it didn’t stop there. They proceeded to throw stuff in our face that had no connection to the invitation itself or them being invited, things that had nothing to do with them and things that were over 1-1.5 years old. I was upset at first about the whole thing because they knew what my circumstances were and disregarded them, but now, I’m relieved. Two less people to pay for and toxicity is gone from my life. 

My partner had family issues. I won’t get into too much detail but basically her future sister-in-law ruins everything, and her future mother and father-in-law make everything difficult, including withholding money from them to finish paying off the wedding. Money they were promised, that was acquired at a special party to raise money for their wedding. 


The point here is, weddings sometimes bring out the worst in people and there’s nothing you can do about it. You have to let it roll of your back and roll with the punches because they’re going to keep coming no matter what you do. Grab a glass of wine and let it go. 

Remember that it’s your day. You’re the most important person and whatever you want goes. Don’t be afraid to speak up and take charge. Don’t let anyone take anything away from you or your day. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gentlemen,


A.Squared

Adulting · Family · In-laws · invitations · Love · Opinions · RSVP · Uncategorized · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Invitations/RSVP’s… Part 3?


Ok.

Here’s the thing. Getting an invitation to a wedding doesn’t mean you get to ask for special things, unless you have a food allergy/need. That you can have without a problem.

What you can’t have is an extra invitation for people you want to invite. If you want to pay for this 20+ grand wedding, by all means invite whoever you want, but if you’re not, kindly shut up. 

If it’s an adults only wedding, please don’t ask to bring your kids because the answer is no. If you were given an invitation without a guest, it’s ok to ask why but don’t demand you get to bring a guest. The reason you didn’t get one is because you’re probably not dating anyone or the person you are dating is a terrible human being. I mean, I don’t know you but those are two pretty good reasons. 


And to the brides and the grooms out there, because you too mess up on occasion, for the love of god, have an open bar. If you don’t, you can’t really expect people to give you a nice gift (in NY, we do cash). You can’t expect people to come to your wedding, give you cash, and then continue to open their wallets to enjoy themselves… or get through your horrifically boring wedding. Just sayin’. 


Keep it classy. Everyone. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,


A.Squared