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Much love and good luck ladies and gentlemen,



A.Squared

Centerpieces · Hidden fees · In-laws · invitations · life · Love · Opinions · RSVP · True life · True story · Uncategorized · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Hidden Fees!


So, you find a venue you absolutely love and the price is only $109 per person! That’s amazing! That’s so much cheaper than other places that are $120, $150, $200 per person!

While the base price IS much lower than other venues, it doesn’t mean that you’re paying $109 per person. 

Not. Even. Close. 

Ever notice the two plus signs next to the per person price? That means plus tax and plus gratuity. That $109 per person is actually $144 per person when all is said and done. 

I bet you forgot to budget for that. I know I did! And it was a terrible surprise! After the initial shock, I had to recalculate and re-budget everything. Don’t get me wrong, I knew it would be more than a flat $109 because everything has tax but I wasn’t prepared for an additional $35 per plate! 

While we’re talking about per plate charges, weddings would be so much more affordable if it was socially acceptable to NOT have an open bar. My base price would have been $69 instead of $109! Open bar adds $40 per person. 

Highway robbery if you ask me. Give me wine and I’m good. I don’t need the whole bar. (P.S. Some places offer a beer and wine option for half the price of a full open bar).

BUT, it’s really crappy if you to expect a gift (in New York, it’s usually monetary) and then also expect people to open their wallets to buy their own drinks. That’s just my opinion. That and I know I’ve talked shit about people who haven’t had open bar because it’s kind of tacky. Unless you’re doing a super non-traditional wedding not at a venue, then it’s totally cool. But seriously, don’t have your wedding at a beautiful venue and then expect your guests to pay for overpriced drinks at the bar, that’s not cool. 

Let’s talk about some other fees. Like the addition of ANYTHING to your menu. Oh you want to add some vegetables or a meat and cheese platter to your cocktail hour? $5 per person. You want a pasta added to your reception? $5 per person. No big deal, it’s only $5 per person… but multiply that by 170 people and that’s almost another $1000. 

At this point, I’ve already sold my soul for the wedding so where am I going to pull this extra money from? If you say, ‘From your money saving tips post!’, I love you, but I’ve already saved all that I can, not including my sanity. 

Anyway, just be mindful when budgeting for your big day. Get all the facts and figures AFTER tax because that will make a huge difference for you and make the headache slightly less painful. 

Wine also helps the headache, but you already know how I feel about wine. 


Much love and good luck ladies and gents!


A.Squared

Adulting · Fake friends · Family · friends · Growing up · In-laws · Love · Mean girls · Opinions · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Weddings Bring Out The Worst In People. 

Shout out to the friends who you don’t have to be in constant contact with. 
Having a wedding really brings out the worst in people. It certainly brings out the best in some people, but what you don’t hear about is how horrible people are… people that you thought were friends and even people you’re related to so, don’t be surprised if you get let down.

I’m not saying this to be mean or ruin your special day, I’m saying it because no one told me (and the other half of A.Squared) and we were blindsided by both family and ‘friends’. 

When you have a wedding, it’s supposed to be the happiest time in your life, but there are a lot of bumps along the way. Imagine flying down a Rocky Mountain in a little red wagon, because it’s comparable to that. 

So now, I’ll share with you our experiences.

I invited a couple to my wedding who I thought we were friends with. When asking for their new address, they made it very, very clear we weren’t friends anymore. Ok, cool. But it didn’t stop there. They proceeded to throw stuff in our face that had no connection to the invitation itself or them being invited, things that had nothing to do with them and things that were over 1-1.5 years old. I was upset at first about the whole thing because they knew what my circumstances were and disregarded them, but now, I’m relieved. Two less people to pay for and toxicity is gone from my life. 

My partner had family issues. I won’t get into too much detail but basically her future sister-in-law ruins everything, and her future mother and father-in-law make everything difficult, including withholding money from them to finish paying off the wedding. Money they were promised, that was acquired at a special party to raise money for their wedding. 


The point here is, weddings sometimes bring out the worst in people and there’s nothing you can do about it. You have to let it roll of your back and roll with the punches because they’re going to keep coming no matter what you do. Grab a glass of wine and let it go. 

Remember that it’s your day. You’re the most important person and whatever you want goes. Don’t be afraid to speak up and take charge. Don’t let anyone take anything away from you or your day. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gentlemen,


A.Squared

Adulting · Family · In-laws · invitations · Love · Opinions · RSVP · Uncategorized · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Invitations/RSVP’s… Part 3?


Ok.

Here’s the thing. Getting an invitation to a wedding doesn’t mean you get to ask for special things, unless you have a food allergy/need. That you can have without a problem.

What you can’t have is an extra invitation for people you want to invite. If you want to pay for this 20+ grand wedding, by all means invite whoever you want, but if you’re not, kindly shut up. 

If it’s an adults only wedding, please don’t ask to bring your kids because the answer is no. If you were given an invitation without a guest, it’s ok to ask why but don’t demand you get to bring a guest. The reason you didn’t get one is because you’re probably not dating anyone or the person you are dating is a terrible human being. I mean, I don’t know you but those are two pretty good reasons. 


And to the brides and the grooms out there, because you too mess up on occasion, for the love of god, have an open bar. If you don’t, you can’t really expect people to give you a nice gift (in NY, we do cash). You can’t expect people to come to your wedding, give you cash, and then continue to open their wallets to enjoy themselves… or get through your horrifically boring wedding. Just sayin’. 


Keep it classy. Everyone. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,


A.Squared

Adulting · Family · Growing up · In-laws · Wedding · Wedding Planning

In-Laws


This is one of the more… tricky parts of getting married. You get a second family… and sometimes they suck. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes they’re awesome, so I’ve heard. In the end, it’s really what you make of it. 

Have you ever heard the phrase, ‘pick and choose your battles’, or ‘take it with a grain of salt’, or ‘you have to let it roll off your back’? Those will become your mantras. No matter what you do, you’ll be criticized. No matter what you do, you’ll be compared to someone else, probably your spouses brother or sister. No matter what you do, it will be wrong… unless you have one of those magical unicorns I’ve heard of that are actually awesome mother-in-laws… the odds aren’t in your favor so, accept that now. 

Your in-laws will grate on your nerves and test your patience all of the time, and unfortunately for you, you have to deal with it because you love your spouse. The worst part about it is, you can work yourself up and get super pissed off, but sometimes they don’t even know how annoying they are. They’re so set in their ways that when you come along and offer new ideas and new views, it irritates the shit out of them and then they in turn irritate the shit out of you. It’s a viscous circle. 

And worst case scenario, you have a mother-in-law who does everything she can to make you feel like garbage on a constant bases, but does it with a smile so she seems innocent, but you know what’s up. That kind of MIL knows exactly what she’s doing. She will complain and put you down any chance she can get because, after all, you’re taking away her son (or daughter). 

Do yourself a favor and smile every time she tries to knock you down a peg. Hang on tight and stick to your guns. Eventually she’ll see you don’t take anyone’s crap, especially not hers, and she’ll back off. And remember, it’s ok to stand up to her when she says something you don’t agree with. If she can’t respect you have an opinion, then she doesn’t deserve your respect at all. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared