Adulting · Fake friends · friends · Growing up · life · Mean girls · Opinions · Uncategorized · Wedding

Friendships. 

This ones about friendship. 

I’ve been told that you find out who your real friends are when you get married, but I had no idea how true that was until I started planning my own. 

If you accept the bride and grooms request to be in their bridal party, you’re accepting the financial obligation that it is. You can’t get mad when you have to spend money. You can’t get mad when asked to participate in a wedding related event. You can’t get mad when things are required of you.

Weddings are expensive. Being a part of a wedding is also expensive. It’s not a surprise, so don’t act surprised when you have to pay for things. 

Also, it helps NOT to lie to the couple at all. You never know, they may actually know the truth before you lie. And then you look like a fool. 

And for the record, it’s really shitty if you’re the only bridesmaid that doesn’t participate or doesn’t make themselves part of the group. The bride picked you for a reason, don’t make her regret it. Being a bridesmaid is an honor because it means you’re important to the bride. She should be important enough to you to to be treated with respect.  

With that said, get your damn hair and makeup done because regardless of what you think about you skills, they’re nowhere near good enough to be professional. and make sure you’re there when everyone’s getting ready. Don’t come late. 
Remember, it’s not about you. Don’t be a jerk and make the bride fire you. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gentlemen,



A.Squared 

Adulting · Body image · College · Confession · Fake friends · Family · friends · Grad school · Graduate School · Growing up · Homeowner · Honeymoon · Houses · In-laws · Job · Kids · life · Love · New Home · Opinions · Uncategorized · Wedding · work

Suggestions!


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Much love and good luck ladies and gentlemen,



A.Squared

Adulting · Confession · Family · friends · Growing up · Job · Kids · life · Residential treatment center · True life · True story · work

What it’s like Working in an RTC. 


Awesome. 

Awesome in the same way getting a shark bite is awesome. It’s not, but you have a cool story of heroism to tell after the fact.

But seriously, I actually love my boys, but like with anything else, they can be absolutely infuriating at times. 

Unfortunately, you can’t take those infuriating times to heart because they often don’t mean what they say and don’t know how to express themselves. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when the most vile things come out of their mouths and they mean it… but most of the time they don’t… at least I tell myself that. 

Every single day is trying and it’s exhausting and it makes you question why you come to work to have kitchen chairs thrown at you, or your life threatened (empty threats, thank goodness), or the siding of a building smack you in the head… but at the end of the day, if you made one kid feel seen and/or heard, that’s enough. 

It takes a special person to work in a residential treatment center. I’ve been at mine for 4 years and I’ve seen more people come and go than stay. Some people last a day, a week, if you’re lucky they last a month but then they just stop showing up… but some of us stay and we stay because we know the kids need us. They need stability. They need people who aren’t there only for a paycheck, but to do what they can to help these kids in a system that fails them every single day. 

I left full-time because I needed more money, but I stayed part-time because I didn’t want the kids to feel abandoned. I’ve seen how they react when staff quit, or get fired, or forget about them, and it’s terrible. You may not realize it, but we make bonds with these kids and when they graduate and move on from the RTC, it’s heartbreaking. 

If we’re being honest, some of them I’d help pack their bags and move them out myself, but for the most part, my boys are good and they respect me the way I respect them. When I come to work they all come say hello and ask for a hug. They ask me if I’ll be the one to take them off campus. And I know that I don’t have to worry about them because we have an understanding. 

So, in a nutshell, that’s what it’s like to work in a RTC. It can be awesome, but it can also test your patience and crush your soul. How it affects you depends on the person you are. Either you’re strong enough to work with these kids, or you’re not. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared

Adulting · Fake friends · Family · friends · Growing up · In-laws · Love · Mean girls · Opinions · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Weddings Bring Out The Worst In People. 

Shout out to the friends who you don’t have to be in constant contact with. 
Having a wedding really brings out the worst in people. It certainly brings out the best in some people, but what you don’t hear about is how horrible people are… people that you thought were friends and even people you’re related to so, don’t be surprised if you get let down.

I’m not saying this to be mean or ruin your special day, I’m saying it because no one told me (and the other half of A.Squared) and we were blindsided by both family and ‘friends’. 

When you have a wedding, it’s supposed to be the happiest time in your life, but there are a lot of bumps along the way. Imagine flying down a Rocky Mountain in a little red wagon, because it’s comparable to that. 

So now, I’ll share with you our experiences.

I invited a couple to my wedding who I thought we were friends with. When asking for their new address, they made it very, very clear we weren’t friends anymore. Ok, cool. But it didn’t stop there. They proceeded to throw stuff in our face that had no connection to the invitation itself or them being invited, things that had nothing to do with them and things that were over 1-1.5 years old. I was upset at first about the whole thing because they knew what my circumstances were and disregarded them, but now, I’m relieved. Two less people to pay for and toxicity is gone from my life. 

My partner had family issues. I won’t get into too much detail but basically her future sister-in-law ruins everything, and her future mother and father-in-law make everything difficult, including withholding money from them to finish paying off the wedding. Money they were promised, that was acquired at a special party to raise money for their wedding. 


The point here is, weddings sometimes bring out the worst in people and there’s nothing you can do about it. You have to let it roll of your back and roll with the punches because they’re going to keep coming no matter what you do. Grab a glass of wine and let it go. 

Remember that it’s your day. You’re the most important person and whatever you want goes. Don’t be afraid to speak up and take charge. Don’t let anyone take anything away from you or your day. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gentlemen,


A.Squared

Bombing · England · Family · Growing up · Love · Manchester · Prayers · Safety · Social Media

Manchester


I’m going to take a break from the sarcasm for a moment if I may…

Our thoughts and prayers go to everyone affected by the heartbreaking event last night in Manchester, and all of the senseless acts that have been happening as of late. 

What is this world coming to? Every time you turn on the news, something terrible has happened. Innocent people are dying because of people who are cowards! It’s disgusting. 

Times are scary but we can not live in fear. We have to continue to live our lives because life is beautiful and there’s is so much ahead for us.

Keep your heads up. Be strong. Be safe. And love one another. 



Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared

Adulting · Body image · Growing up · Love · Mean girls · Social Media

Love Yourself 

Girls, you need to love yourselves. Don’t let any media or advertisement make you feel less than. There is no perfect body shape, no perfect hair do, no perfect makeup. There is no such thing as perfection, but if you feel good and beautiful and love yourself, that’s as close to perfect as you can be. 

The media spends so much time showing the world that thin is in, and anything else is not good enough. This is no way to live and it’s frustrating to see that this is how most brands choose to advertise. And the fact that those brands that use average or plus size models get ridiculed on social media is disgusting. 

If you’re the type of person who hides behind twitter or some other account just so you can make fun of people who feel comfortable in their own skin, weight isn’t the problem. You have insecurities that you need to workout and girl, you need to love yourself too even though you’re mean. 
If you’re a mean girl, first of all that’s shitty. Why are you so angry? And why do you feel the need to make fun of people for personal satisfaction? 

Take some time and really look at yourself and find out what makes you feel good and what makes you happy and work on yourself so you stop being such a jerk. 

And to those girls who already love themselves, no matter what size you are or how much makeup you wear, you go girl! Liv e your best life and love it and don’t let the haters bring you down because at the end of the day, you’re still fabulous. 

Love yourself and love others. Don’t be an asshole. It’s that simple. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared

Adulting · Family · Growing up · In-laws · Wedding · Wedding Planning

In-Laws


This is one of the more… tricky parts of getting married. You get a second family… and sometimes they suck. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes they’re awesome, so I’ve heard. In the end, it’s really what you make of it. 

Have you ever heard the phrase, ‘pick and choose your battles’, or ‘take it with a grain of salt’, or ‘you have to let it roll off your back’? Those will become your mantras. No matter what you do, you’ll be criticized. No matter what you do, you’ll be compared to someone else, probably your spouses brother or sister. No matter what you do, it will be wrong… unless you have one of those magical unicorns I’ve heard of that are actually awesome mother-in-laws… the odds aren’t in your favor so, accept that now. 

Your in-laws will grate on your nerves and test your patience all of the time, and unfortunately for you, you have to deal with it because you love your spouse. The worst part about it is, you can work yourself up and get super pissed off, but sometimes they don’t even know how annoying they are. They’re so set in their ways that when you come along and offer new ideas and new views, it irritates the shit out of them and then they in turn irritate the shit out of you. It’s a viscous circle. 

And worst case scenario, you have a mother-in-law who does everything she can to make you feel like garbage on a constant bases, but does it with a smile so she seems innocent, but you know what’s up. That kind of MIL knows exactly what she’s doing. She will complain and put you down any chance she can get because, after all, you’re taking away her son (or daughter). 

Do yourself a favor and smile every time she tries to knock you down a peg. Hang on tight and stick to your guns. Eventually she’ll see you don’t take anyone’s crap, especially not hers, and she’ll back off. And remember, it’s ok to stand up to her when she says something you don’t agree with. If she can’t respect you have an opinion, then she doesn’t deserve your respect at all. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared

Adulting · Growing up · Opinions · Wedding · Wedding Planning

Bridal Party

Picking your bridal party is kind of a big deal. First, you have to pick a maid of honor and a best man. Then you have to pick a group of people that mean a lot to you and people you want standing by your side for the most important moment of your life. 

Now, if you’re lucky, you have a sister and you don’t have to hurt anyone’s feelings when picking a MOH. If you have 2 sisters, you can have two MOH’s. If you have more than that, I’m sorry for your dad. If you don’t have any sisters but you have best friends, it can be a very tough decision. You want them to all be part of your day but you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or make anyone feel like they don’t matter as much as the others. Make sure you really think about who you want right next to you when you marry your best friend before you say anything to anyone. It’s a delicate situation and you should treat it as such. 

For the dudes, they don’t care as much. They’re not as sensitive and honestly, they’re probably there for the open bar so those decisions for best-man and groomsmen will be done so fast you’ll get whiplash. And you’ll feel crappy that it’s taking you so long. 

Now, in a perfect world you have your bridal party set, you have your MOH and best-man picked out. Life is good, right? 

Probably not. 

Now you have to figure out he order of your girls and guys after the MOH and best-man. Not a big deal… or is it? I don’t know about anyone else but this has been an ongoing discussion between me and my fiancé. We have a pretty big bridal party… not like 10 people big, but I’d say larger than normal. Within the bridal party there are couples because we have mutual friends. So, what do you do when one side of the couple means more than the other? Do you let go of emotional attachments and let them walk together because they’re a couple or do you put them in order of most important to least important? Or in order of who you’ve known the longest? Or by height? These seem like stupid questions and issues to have in the grand scheme of wedding planning, but they’re real… oh are they ever real…

I say, put your bridal party in order of importance. If they line up with their significant other, good for them. If not, it’s your day so who gives a crap? When they’re introduced at the reception they can walk with their significant other, but during the ceremony, I want my lineup from most important (and coincidentally length of relationship) to least important. Now, this doesn’t mean that some people aren’t important, it just means you’re putting people in an order that makes sense. 

Don’t get hung up on this. It will actually drive you crazy. Take my advice. Have the ones you’ve known the longest closest to you because they’ve helped you through more things and they just mean more, and they deserve to be closer to you when you’re marrying your soulmate. 

Save the loss of your sanity for planning out the seating chart. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared

Adulting · Growing up · Wedding · Wedding Planning

Lists!


You need lists. If you don’t sit down and write out every single thing you need to do before you get married, you’re going to forget something. 

I was going over wedding things this last weekend and realized I’m severely behind… because I never made a list. I booked all of my vendors and the hall and got my dress ordered… and then I just stopped. 

I forgot the table numbers, the gifts for the bridal party, suits for all the guys, undergarments, hair things, a cake topper, a cake cutter/server… if we’re being honest I haven’t even looked into getting a cake yet at all… so many things fell through the cracks and I’m scrambling now because everything costs money!

So I urge you to make your lists. Thankfully my wedding isn’t for several more months but it’s rapidly approaching… kind of like the ground when you bungee jump-very quickly and terrifyingly. 

And there are things you’re going to forget about. Did you get the flower girl and ring bearer gifts? Did you get the flower girl special flowers and the ring bearer a pillow or box or whatever you want the rings in? Did you remember you need special marker pens for your guestbook? Did you even remember a guestbook? Did you remember to actually finish the centerpieces? Did you get stands for the table numbers? Are you doing favors? Are you doing a seating chart or escort cards? Did you know escort cards are different than place cards? 

And don’t forget to set up appointments to meet with your vendors before the wedding so you can discuss things like musical preferences and photos you want the photographer to make sure s/he takes. 

Lastly, and thank god for my fiancé, don’t forget to pick the ceremony music. You want something special for the family, something special for the bridal party, and then a song just for you on your special day. 

And don’t get me started on the reception music because finding a song that 2 people agree on is a nightmare so don’t ask for the bridal parties input and just pick a song for them. It will save you a migraine. 

Speaking of bridal parties… did you decide on a lineup? Are you making sure that couples are walking together or ignoring couples and putting them in order from most important to least important, or according to length of time you knew them, or by height? Seems like an insignificant detail until you get to it!

Anyway, make a list. The Knot offers an awesome app and on it they have a checklist of things you should do and which month they should be completed according to your wedding date. Still make a list for the little things though, it’ll be a lifesaver, or at least a sanity saver. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared

Adulting · Growing up · Opinions · Uncategorized · Wedding · Wedding Planning

Everyone Has Something to Say…


Everything you’re doing is wrong and your wedding is going to be a disaster…
Well, that’s what everyone else wants you to think because they obviously know what you want and what you should have on your special day better than you do right?

Wrong. 

People are going to question everything you do if it’s not like their wedding, or not like a traditional wedding… so prepare yourself for that right now. They’ll also make suggestions that they will be offended about later because you didn’t take them.

#reallife #thanksbutnothanks #donttellmehowtolivemylife

Anyway, generally people like to think they’re smarter than they are and they also enjoy their own voices. I’ve learned in my years of dealing with unsavory people that the minute you start talking about yourself, self-centered people tend to shut up and leave you alone. And the people trying to stick their noses in your wedding are usually self-centered.

If you don’t use a Limo because, after all, they’re not required for a wedding-especially if your ceremony is at the same location of your venue-you will be judged. If you chose to use paper flowers instead of real ones because the logical part of your brain couldn’t see ripping $7,500 to bits, you’re going to be judged. A short wedding dress? You must be insane. No sit down dinner? Is this even a wedding?

But, don’t be fooled, if your wedding is by-the-books perfect, you’ll still be judged. There will always be a miserable hag at every wedding trying to make everyone else miserable too so please, don’t listen and don’t take it personally. 

Not everyone gets to meet their soulmate in life. 

There will be jealous people too, obviously, because your fabulous. And also because maybe they can’t afford something or they wish they had a fiancé as awesome as you do. They’ll make comments like ‘I’m never having a wedding, it’s such a waste of money’, or ‘Why did you need that? That’s excessive/unnecessary’, or ‘I’d never spend that much on that.’ Keep your composure because they’re already unhappy and suffering on the inside. 

And there will always be one person who compares your wedding to someone else’s. You’ll hear it multiple times while planning and probably long after it’s over because some people can’t understand that you’re your own person, so try to tune it out. Or, if you’re bold, which girlfriend (snap, snap) I know you are, stand up to this monster and say so-and-so’s wedding wasn’t mine for a reason!

Keep your head up and do you! And if you’re ever unsure, have some wine and enjoy some liquid confidence to get you through wedding planning. 


#winedowndaily

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared