Adulting · Confession · Family · friends · Homeowner · Houses · In-laws · life · Love · New Home · True life · True story · Uncategorized

Your First Married Christmas

Get ready for custom made everything that says ‘Our First Christmas’ because everyone thinks they’re so cute and so clever and so original.

Meanwhile, most people don’t get married within a year… I said most so don’t get crazy. Anyway, more than likely it isn’t your first Christmas together but that doesn’t matter because you’re going to get a dozen ornaments that say that anyway. I get it Susan, you like custom ornaments. I’ll just go put this next to the 13 other ornaments I have that say my dogs name on it…. that’s another thing you get dozens of for some reason. Like, yes my dog is my life and I treat him like a child but I don’t need 15 custom ornaments that say Gizmo.

I had to get a second tree just so I could hang all of the ornaments that say ‘Just Engaged’, “Just Married”, “Our First Christmas’, and ‘Gizmo. It’s out of control.

Anyway, another thing that happens if you were married relatively close to the holiday, you skip gifts. I don’t know about anyone else but when we got married we each got something we really wanted with some of the money and the rest went into savings. Now we’re just about at Christmas and our parents are harassing us about what we want for gifts when we all know its going to be some custom crap about it being our first Christmas anyway, and we don’t want to blow the entire savings so we buy the bare minimum for everyone, excluding each other, and call it a day. And you and your spouse will agree to not get each other anything so you can save some money but deep down you know you’ll get crucified if you don’t get the other person a gift so you cave and get something but it comes in the mail when you’re not home so your spouse knows you got them something and knows exactly what it is because they’re nosey AF and read the label and then google it.

It’s so fun being married.

And if you’re really lucky, your mom will let you have Christmas Eve because you have a house now and you’re married and you should inherit the holiday. So you get to clean the entire house alone, cook for 35 people, and clean it all up after they all leave.

(eye roll, grunt)

 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

 

A.Squared

 

Confession · Fake friends · Family · friends · Growing up · In-laws · invitations · life · Love · Opinions · RSVP · Seating Chart · Uncategorized · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

My Wedding Day Was Awesome


It’s been a minute, but I’m back! I just got back a couple weeks ago from the most amazing honeymoon in the entire universe, but I’ll address that in another post. 

My wedding was perfect. Things went wrong, as they inevitably will, but it was still perfect. By the time I was at the venue, there were already 20 hiccups but I didn’t give a damn. Leading up to the wedding, I would never have guessed I would have handled things the way I did but I handled them gracefully… I mean I think I did. I could have actually been a raging bitch. Who knows?

Anyway, my bridal party was late getting ready, I didn’t get all the photos I wanted, I left the one bag I needed to bring with me in the house, I never put a garter on, I got charged extra from my limo company for being late, a door opened during our photos before the wedding and people saw us ahead of time, it was POURING RAIN, my feet lasted just through the ceremony in my wedding shoes, and I found out that people suck… BUT, I was totally cool. I let it all go. It was finally my day and I was going to go with the flow and enjoy it for every single cent that it cost us. 

And you know what? I did. All the blood, sweat and tears that went into planning this wedding was worth it. Admittedly there were more tears than blood and sweat… but still, I wouldn’t change a thing. 

My hair and makeup were perfect, my flowers were gorgeous, my venue was classy, the food was amazing, the DJ was awesome, my dress was beautiful… and none of that compared to the fact that I married my best friend. 

Ladies and gentlemen, things are going to go wrong at your wedding and you have three choices when it comes to handling those things. You can get upset, which won’t help and let it ruin the day you’ve been waiting for forever, you can make someone else deal with it because you’re the bride and that’s just how it goes, or you can let it go.

I opted for a combination of number 2 and 3. If it was something that could be handled, I let someone handle it. If it couldn’t, I let it go and kept the show moving. 

In the end, it’s your day. Enjoy it. Enjoy the flaws. Enjoy your new spouse. And things may go wrong but who cares? You’re about to start a new life and if you must, you can cry about it over cocktails on your honeymoon!
Much love and good luck ladies and gents,


A.Squared

Adulting · Confession · Family · friends · invitations · life · Love · RSVP · Seating Chart · True life · True story · Uncategorized · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Don’t Invite Eveyone You’ve Ever Met…

For the love of god, stop inviting me to weddings. 


I mean this in the nicest way possible… if there’s a nice way to say this. I feel like I’m working just to be able to give reasonable wedding gifts, and I’m no longer ‘about that life’.

And FYI, I swear to GOD if people don’t give me back what I’ve given them as a gift, I’m going to be so angry. Some of you are thinking ‘Wow, that’s selfish,’ and that’s ok because the ones that are thinking ‘Yes girl, preach!’ are the ones who truly get me. 

Weddings are so expensive. You never get back what you spend unless you’re fortunate enough to have parents help or pay for the whole thing (and if you are, I’m jealous!). And after all is said and done, you could have had a house. 

Thankfully we already have a house. 

Stupidly we decided to get a house at the same time as planning and paying for a wedding. 

I make bad choices, and I’ve accepted that. 



Anyway, if we haven’t spoken in a year, whether we’re related or not, don’t invite me to the wedding. I don’t need to be there. You know it. I know it. We’ve drifted apart. It’s probably because I don’t like you. It could be because you don’t like me. But let’s be honest, I’m a gem. You like me.
 
I’m kind of joking… but not 100%. 

Anyway, I’m going to give you the hard truth. If you don’t hangout with people regularly, odds are they don’t want to be invited to your wedding. In the last two years, I’ve been to a few dozen weddings. They’re all the same. Every bride is beautiful. The food is mediocre at best. The DJ’s are usually pretty good. The bands are decent. Photographers should be given awards for capturing love that isn’t always there. And if you don’t invite me to your wedding, I’m going to live, I swear. 

(Side Note: if you’re having a really cool, non-traditional wedding, still invite me. I like new things.)

Also, don’t act like saving money isn’t the best thing on earth when you’re planning a wedding. I’m helping you save money by not being invited. That’s TWO plates you’re saving money on. The least you can do is thank me. 

So, with all that being said, cool it with the invitations. I’m poor. I have no social life. I can barely afford food right now. 

We’ll see how things are after my wedding, which you probably weren’t invited to because we haven’t spoken since Hugh school, when I no longer owe every red cent to a vendor or the venue. I mean, I probably still won’t want to go, but you can ask. 


Much love and good luck ladies and gentlemen,



A.Squared

P.S. This blog was written with excessive sarcasm so don’t get your panties in a knot!

Family · friends · invitations · life · Love · Opinions · Seating Chart · True life · True story · Uncategorized · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Seating Charts…

Seating charts are the Devils work. 
Before you’ve done one, you think to yourself, how hard could this be? You put people at a table, there’s a table maximum, and you move to the next. 

Wrong. 

It’s hard. It’s especially hard if your parents get involved and tell you who can sit with who and who can’t. 

It’s EVEN HARDER if you come from an Italian family that is in the middle of a disagreement. 

Here’s what happens…
You get X number of tables and those tables usually sit 8-12 people, depending on venue and table size. That’s cool… until you put the people who CAN sit together at one table and get tables of 7 or 13… and get no groups that can fill in those gaps, or you get groups that will disown you if separate them. 

In the event that your only issue is fitting people at a table and not taking into account who they are and are not speaking to at the moment, consider yourself super lucky. 

I will tell you this, you will be so grateful for people who RSVP alone. These are the ones you will use to plug up the holes. They’re life savers. And anyone brave enough to go to a wedding alone will be able to hold their own at any table you sit them at. 

Take a deep breath, have some wine, not too much because the seating chart does have to make sense, and work it out on paper. 

It will eventually workout, hopefully before the wedding. Much love and good luck ladies and gentlemen,



A.Squared

Adulting · Body image · College · Confession · Fake friends · Family · friends · Grad school · Graduate School · Growing up · Homeowner · Honeymoon · Houses · In-laws · Job · Kids · life · Love · New Home · Opinions · Uncategorized · Wedding · work

Suggestions!


We love hearing from our readers so if you have a suggestion for a blog, wedding related or not, please email us! We’ll be sure to write back and address your idea as soon as possible!


Much love and good luck ladies and gentlemen,



A.Squared

Adulting · Confession · Family · friends · invitations · life · Love · True story · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

WHERE DID THE TIME GO?


With my wedding drawing near, I have an undeniable knot in my stomach that feeds on anxiety. 

I’ve gone in and out of the wedding room (spare room over-run with wedding essentials, bridal party gifts, unfinished centerpieces… you get the picture) a hundred times and get so overwhelmed that I shut the door and run away…

 
This is not a helpful behavior, as you might have figured out. I kept telling myself I had time before I really needed to get down to business and now business is in 2 months…

 
SO, in the next 2 weeks my goal is to have the centerpieces complete, finish the favors, and get the ceremony written up. We’re having my fiancé’s uncle marry us and he needs a script. He’s a great guy and always so willing to help with anything anyone needs, but he has a little trouble focusing.

 
Have I mentioned we haven’t gone for tuxes yet? Cause we haven’t gone for tuxes yet… We have an appointment so I’m not a total failure in that area. And I’ve got my first official wedding dress fitting scheduled as well so I’ve got that going for me.

 
All the vendors are locked down and mostly paid for. Only one of them is a day of payment. Don’t even talk to me about the balance that is still owed to the venue because it makes my skin crawl. If I can offer you any advice at all, make monthly payments to your venue. That was our plan but because we thought we had SO MUCH TIME LEFT, we skipped some months and now here we are, scraping change from under out car seats and between the couch cushions…

 
I’m joking, but seriously we have a large balance and it is sickening.

 
So, NEWSFLASH, you don’t have that much time. It can’t wait. It won’t be available if you hold off another week. And for the love of god, find a comfortable pair of shoes as soon as possible so you’re not driving yourself crazy and running yourself ragged. You’ll thank me later.
 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

 

A.Squared 

Adulting · Confession · Family · friends · Growing up · Job · Kids · life · Residential treatment center · True life · True story · work

What it’s like Working in an RTC. 


Awesome. 

Awesome in the same way getting a shark bite is awesome. It’s not, but you have a cool story of heroism to tell after the fact.

But seriously, I actually love my boys, but like with anything else, they can be absolutely infuriating at times. 

Unfortunately, you can’t take those infuriating times to heart because they often don’t mean what they say and don’t know how to express themselves. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when the most vile things come out of their mouths and they mean it… but most of the time they don’t… at least I tell myself that. 

Every single day is trying and it’s exhausting and it makes you question why you come to work to have kitchen chairs thrown at you, or your life threatened (empty threats, thank goodness), or the siding of a building smack you in the head… but at the end of the day, if you made one kid feel seen and/or heard, that’s enough. 

It takes a special person to work in a residential treatment center. I’ve been at mine for 4 years and I’ve seen more people come and go than stay. Some people last a day, a week, if you’re lucky they last a month but then they just stop showing up… but some of us stay and we stay because we know the kids need us. They need stability. They need people who aren’t there only for a paycheck, but to do what they can to help these kids in a system that fails them every single day. 

I left full-time because I needed more money, but I stayed part-time because I didn’t want the kids to feel abandoned. I’ve seen how they react when staff quit, or get fired, or forget about them, and it’s terrible. You may not realize it, but we make bonds with these kids and when they graduate and move on from the RTC, it’s heartbreaking. 

If we’re being honest, some of them I’d help pack their bags and move them out myself, but for the most part, my boys are good and they respect me the way I respect them. When I come to work they all come say hello and ask for a hug. They ask me if I’ll be the one to take them off campus. And I know that I don’t have to worry about them because we have an understanding. 

So, in a nutshell, that’s what it’s like to work in a RTC. It can be awesome, but it can also test your patience and crush your soul. How it affects you depends on the person you are. Either you’re strong enough to work with these kids, or you’re not. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared

Family · friends · Honeymoon · invitations · Love · RSVP · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Finally, a Wedding!


One wedding down, one to go!

One half of A.Squared had a gorgeous wedding this passed weekend. It. Was. Spectacular. There was food before there was food, before there was food! 

She had food in the hospitality room before the ceremony because as we all know, those can last a while. And after that was the cocktail hour with a ton of food. And a bar and bartender that descended out of the ceiling, it was intense!  

Next we went to the main hall and they had one of the most bad ass entrances of all time! The sweetheart table was on a moving platform and it spun around to reveal them dancing, with a huge sign behind them and their names on a screen with  fireworks.

And the bride looked absolutely beautiful


Yaasss girl, slay, all day. 

The dinner, delicious. AND the staff came around asking if we wanted seconds of the main course! Or if we wanted to try something else! That was a first, and very cool. 

To save money, she made her favors. She makes soap as a part time job and made probably close 200 bars of soap. And they smell amazing!

If this wedding was on that TLC show 4 weddings, there would be no competition and she’d win a free honeymoon to a dream destination.
 
But IRL, she got a free vacation to Greece so who is the real winner here?

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,


A.Squared

Adulting · Fake friends · Family · friends · Growing up · In-laws · Love · Mean girls · Opinions · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Weddings Bring Out The Worst In People. 

Shout out to the friends who you don’t have to be in constant contact with. 
Having a wedding really brings out the worst in people. It certainly brings out the best in some people, but what you don’t hear about is how horrible people are… people that you thought were friends and even people you’re related to so, don’t be surprised if you get let down.

I’m not saying this to be mean or ruin your special day, I’m saying it because no one told me (and the other half of A.Squared) and we were blindsided by both family and ‘friends’. 

When you have a wedding, it’s supposed to be the happiest time in your life, but there are a lot of bumps along the way. Imagine flying down a Rocky Mountain in a little red wagon, because it’s comparable to that. 

So now, I’ll share with you our experiences.

I invited a couple to my wedding who I thought we were friends with. When asking for their new address, they made it very, very clear we weren’t friends anymore. Ok, cool. But it didn’t stop there. They proceeded to throw stuff in our face that had no connection to the invitation itself or them being invited, things that had nothing to do with them and things that were over 1-1.5 years old. I was upset at first about the whole thing because they knew what my circumstances were and disregarded them, but now, I’m relieved. Two less people to pay for and toxicity is gone from my life. 

My partner had family issues. I won’t get into too much detail but basically her future sister-in-law ruins everything, and her future mother and father-in-law make everything difficult, including withholding money from them to finish paying off the wedding. Money they were promised, that was acquired at a special party to raise money for their wedding. 


The point here is, weddings sometimes bring out the worst in people and there’s nothing you can do about it. You have to let it roll of your back and roll with the punches because they’re going to keep coming no matter what you do. Grab a glass of wine and let it go. 

Remember that it’s your day. You’re the most important person and whatever you want goes. Don’t be afraid to speak up and take charge. Don’t let anyone take anything away from you or your day. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gentlemen,


A.Squared

Adulting · Family · In-laws · invitations · Love · Opinions · RSVP · Uncategorized · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Invitations/RSVP’s… Part 3?


Ok.

Here’s the thing. Getting an invitation to a wedding doesn’t mean you get to ask for special things, unless you have a food allergy/need. That you can have without a problem.

What you can’t have is an extra invitation for people you want to invite. If you want to pay for this 20+ grand wedding, by all means invite whoever you want, but if you’re not, kindly shut up. 

If it’s an adults only wedding, please don’t ask to bring your kids because the answer is no. If you were given an invitation without a guest, it’s ok to ask why but don’t demand you get to bring a guest. The reason you didn’t get one is because you’re probably not dating anyone or the person you are dating is a terrible human being. I mean, I don’t know you but those are two pretty good reasons. 


And to the brides and the grooms out there, because you too mess up on occasion, for the love of god, have an open bar. If you don’t, you can’t really expect people to give you a nice gift (in NY, we do cash). You can’t expect people to come to your wedding, give you cash, and then continue to open their wallets to enjoy themselves… or get through your horrifically boring wedding. Just sayin’. 


Keep it classy. Everyone. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,


A.Squared