Adulting · Confession · Family · friends · invitations · life · Love · True story · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

WHERE DID THE TIME GO?


With my wedding drawing near, I have an undeniable knot in my stomach that feeds on anxiety. 

I’ve gone in and out of the wedding room (spare room over-run with wedding essentials, bridal party gifts, unfinished centerpieces… you get the picture) a hundred times and get so overwhelmed that I shut the door and run away…

 
This is not a helpful behavior, as you might have figured out. I kept telling myself I had time before I really needed to get down to business and now business is in 2 months…

 
SO, in the next 2 weeks my goal is to have the centerpieces complete, finish the favors, and get the ceremony written up. We’re having my fiancé’s uncle marry us and he needs a script. He’s a great guy and always so willing to help with anything anyone needs, but he has a little trouble focusing.

 
Have I mentioned we haven’t gone for tuxes yet? Cause we haven’t gone for tuxes yet… We have an appointment so I’m not a total failure in that area. And I’ve got my first official wedding dress fitting scheduled as well so I’ve got that going for me.

 
All the vendors are locked down and mostly paid for. Only one of them is a day of payment. Don’t even talk to me about the balance that is still owed to the venue because it makes my skin crawl. If I can offer you any advice at all, make monthly payments to your venue. That was our plan but because we thought we had SO MUCH TIME LEFT, we skipped some months and now here we are, scraping change from under out car seats and between the couch cushions…

 
I’m joking, but seriously we have a large balance and it is sickening.

 
So, NEWSFLASH, you don’t have that much time. It can’t wait. It won’t be available if you hold off another week. And for the love of god, find a comfortable pair of shoes as soon as possible so you’re not driving yourself crazy and running yourself ragged. You’ll thank me later.
 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

 

A.Squared 

Adulting · Confession · Family · friends · Growing up · Job · Kids · life · Residential treatment center · True life · True story · work

What it’s like Working in an RTC. 


Awesome. 

Awesome in the same way getting a shark bite is awesome. It’s not, but you have a cool story of heroism to tell after the fact.

But seriously, I actually love my boys, but like with anything else, they can be absolutely infuriating at times. 

Unfortunately, you can’t take those infuriating times to heart because they often don’t mean what they say and don’t know how to express themselves. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when the most vile things come out of their mouths and they mean it… but most of the time they don’t… at least I tell myself that. 

Every single day is trying and it’s exhausting and it makes you question why you come to work to have kitchen chairs thrown at you, or your life threatened (empty threats, thank goodness), or the siding of a building smack you in the head… but at the end of the day, if you made one kid feel seen and/or heard, that’s enough. 

It takes a special person to work in a residential treatment center. I’ve been at mine for 4 years and I’ve seen more people come and go than stay. Some people last a day, a week, if you’re lucky they last a month but then they just stop showing up… but some of us stay and we stay because we know the kids need us. They need stability. They need people who aren’t there only for a paycheck, but to do what they can to help these kids in a system that fails them every single day. 

I left full-time because I needed more money, but I stayed part-time because I didn’t want the kids to feel abandoned. I’ve seen how they react when staff quit, or get fired, or forget about them, and it’s terrible. You may not realize it, but we make bonds with these kids and when they graduate and move on from the RTC, it’s heartbreaking. 

If we’re being honest, some of them I’d help pack their bags and move them out myself, but for the most part, my boys are good and they respect me the way I respect them. When I come to work they all come say hello and ask for a hug. They ask me if I’ll be the one to take them off campus. And I know that I don’t have to worry about them because we have an understanding. 

So, in a nutshell, that’s what it’s like to work in a RTC. It can be awesome, but it can also test your patience and crush your soul. How it affects you depends on the person you are. Either you’re strong enough to work with these kids, or you’re not. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared

Family · friends · Honeymoon · invitations · Love · RSVP · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Finally, a Wedding!


One wedding down, one to go!

One half of A.Squared had a gorgeous wedding this passed weekend. It. Was. Spectacular. There was food before there was food, before there was food! 

She had food in the hospitality room before the ceremony because as we all know, those can last a while. And after that was the cocktail hour with a ton of food. And a bar and bartender that descended out of the ceiling, it was intense!  

Next we went to the main hall and they had one of the most bad ass entrances of all time! The sweetheart table was on a moving platform and it spun around to reveal them dancing, with a huge sign behind them and their names on a screen with  fireworks.

And the bride looked absolutely beautiful


Yaasss girl, slay, all day. 

The dinner, delicious. AND the staff came around asking if we wanted seconds of the main course! Or if we wanted to try something else! That was a first, and very cool. 

To save money, she made her favors. She makes soap as a part time job and made probably close 200 bars of soap. And they smell amazing!

If this wedding was on that TLC show 4 weddings, there would be no competition and she’d win a free honeymoon to a dream destination.
 
But IRL, she got a free vacation to Greece so who is the real winner here?

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,


A.Squared

Adulting · Fake friends · Family · friends · Growing up · In-laws · Love · Mean girls · Opinions · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Weddings Bring Out The Worst In People. 

Shout out to the friends who you don’t have to be in constant contact with. 
Having a wedding really brings out the worst in people. It certainly brings out the best in some people, but what you don’t hear about is how horrible people are… people that you thought were friends and even people you’re related to so, don’t be surprised if you get let down.

I’m not saying this to be mean or ruin your special day, I’m saying it because no one told me (and the other half of A.Squared) and we were blindsided by both family and ‘friends’. 

When you have a wedding, it’s supposed to be the happiest time in your life, but there are a lot of bumps along the way. Imagine flying down a Rocky Mountain in a little red wagon, because it’s comparable to that. 

So now, I’ll share with you our experiences.

I invited a couple to my wedding who I thought we were friends with. When asking for their new address, they made it very, very clear we weren’t friends anymore. Ok, cool. But it didn’t stop there. They proceeded to throw stuff in our face that had no connection to the invitation itself or them being invited, things that had nothing to do with them and things that were over 1-1.5 years old. I was upset at first about the whole thing because they knew what my circumstances were and disregarded them, but now, I’m relieved. Two less people to pay for and toxicity is gone from my life. 

My partner had family issues. I won’t get into too much detail but basically her future sister-in-law ruins everything, and her future mother and father-in-law make everything difficult, including withholding money from them to finish paying off the wedding. Money they were promised, that was acquired at a special party to raise money for their wedding. 


The point here is, weddings sometimes bring out the worst in people and there’s nothing you can do about it. You have to let it roll of your back and roll with the punches because they’re going to keep coming no matter what you do. Grab a glass of wine and let it go. 

Remember that it’s your day. You’re the most important person and whatever you want goes. Don’t be afraid to speak up and take charge. Don’t let anyone take anything away from you or your day. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gentlemen,


A.Squared

Adulting · Family · In-laws · invitations · Love · Opinions · RSVP · Uncategorized · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Invitations/RSVP’s… Part 3?


Ok.

Here’s the thing. Getting an invitation to a wedding doesn’t mean you get to ask for special things, unless you have a food allergy/need. That you can have without a problem.

What you can’t have is an extra invitation for people you want to invite. If you want to pay for this 20+ grand wedding, by all means invite whoever you want, but if you’re not, kindly shut up. 

If it’s an adults only wedding, please don’t ask to bring your kids because the answer is no. If you were given an invitation without a guest, it’s ok to ask why but don’t demand you get to bring a guest. The reason you didn’t get one is because you’re probably not dating anyone or the person you are dating is a terrible human being. I mean, I don’t know you but those are two pretty good reasons. 


And to the brides and the grooms out there, because you too mess up on occasion, for the love of god, have an open bar. If you don’t, you can’t really expect people to give you a nice gift (in NY, we do cash). You can’t expect people to come to your wedding, give you cash, and then continue to open their wallets to enjoy themselves… or get through your horrifically boring wedding. Just sayin’. 


Keep it classy. Everyone. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,


A.Squared

Adulting · Family · Love · Opinions · Uncategorized · Wedding · Wedding Planning

Guestbook!


Don’t get a boring guestbook that people will inevitably forget to sign… or that you’re going to forget about. It’s going to collect dust in your attic and you probably won’t be able to read most of he handwriting in it anyway because people will be signing at weird angles because the tables a weird height and there’s no chair. 

Opt for a more modern version of the guestbook. 

Here are a few of my favorite ideas:


These are great alternatives AND you can hang them in your home as decorations and enjoy them FOREVER!

Plus, they’re interactive and really fun. And they’ll even give your wedding a little extra flair. 

After all, no one wants to be boring, especially on their wedding day!

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared

Bombing · England · Family · Growing up · Love · Manchester · Prayers · Safety · Social Media

Manchester


I’m going to take a break from the sarcasm for a moment if I may…

Our thoughts and prayers go to everyone affected by the heartbreaking event last night in Manchester, and all of the senseless acts that have been happening as of late. 

What is this world coming to? Every time you turn on the news, something terrible has happened. Innocent people are dying because of people who are cowards! It’s disgusting. 

Times are scary but we can not live in fear. We have to continue to live our lives because life is beautiful and there’s is so much ahead for us.

Keep your heads up. Be strong. Be safe. And love one another. 



Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared

Adulting · Family · Growing up · In-laws · Wedding · Wedding Planning

In-Laws


This is one of the more… tricky parts of getting married. You get a second family… and sometimes they suck. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes they’re awesome, so I’ve heard. In the end, it’s really what you make of it. 

Have you ever heard the phrase, ‘pick and choose your battles’, or ‘take it with a grain of salt’, or ‘you have to let it roll off your back’? Those will become your mantras. No matter what you do, you’ll be criticized. No matter what you do, you’ll be compared to someone else, probably your spouses brother or sister. No matter what you do, it will be wrong… unless you have one of those magical unicorns I’ve heard of that are actually awesome mother-in-laws… the odds aren’t in your favor so, accept that now. 

Your in-laws will grate on your nerves and test your patience all of the time, and unfortunately for you, you have to deal with it because you love your spouse. The worst part about it is, you can work yourself up and get super pissed off, but sometimes they don’t even know how annoying they are. They’re so set in their ways that when you come along and offer new ideas and new views, it irritates the shit out of them and then they in turn irritate the shit out of you. It’s a viscous circle. 

And worst case scenario, you have a mother-in-law who does everything she can to make you feel like garbage on a constant bases, but does it with a smile so she seems innocent, but you know what’s up. That kind of MIL knows exactly what she’s doing. She will complain and put you down any chance she can get because, after all, you’re taking away her son (or daughter). 

Do yourself a favor and smile every time she tries to knock you down a peg. Hang on tight and stick to your guns. Eventually she’ll see you don’t take anyone’s crap, especially not hers, and she’ll back off. And remember, it’s ok to stand up to her when she says something you don’t agree with. If she can’t respect you have an opinion, then she doesn’t deserve your respect at all. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared