Adulting · Fake friends · friends · Job · life · True life · True story · Wedding · Wedding Planning

Ranking and Raving!

So I belong to a Facebook group for Brides… basic, I know. 


That group has actually been my saving grace. I’ve gotten so many tips and great ideas from that page and I’d be lost without them. 

With that being said, it’s also extremely infuriating at times. Some girls on there talk about how their parents pay for everything and life is great, and good for them, but don’t tell me you’re stressed out trying to come up with money to pay for flowers and that’s it. If all you have to pay for for your wedding is flowers, get a handle on your amazon addiction, and pay for  them. You won’t get sympathy from me as my fiancé and I are workin full time and part time jobs to pay for our wedding by ourselves because we’re not financially dependent on anyone, not even each other. 

If your parents want to and can help you, that’s awesome. Trust me I’m not salty… ok I’m a little salty, but honestly good for you. Just don’t act like a helpless idiot when you have to actually pay for something when the bulk of your wedding is taken care of. It’s not a good look. It really isn’t. If anything I feel more bad for you than salty. And if your parents are that well off, give them my number. They can donate to my wedding and attend too. 

 

All I’m saying is, we’re all adults here. Let’s act like it. Accept your responsibilities and handle them without being a baby because it makes people dislike you. That it. 



Much love and good luck ladies and gentlemen,



A.Squared 

Adulting · Fake friends · friends · Growing up · life · Mean girls · Opinions · Uncategorized · Wedding

Friendships. 

This ones about friendship. 

I’ve been told that you find out who your real friends are when you get married, but I had no idea how true that was until I started planning my own. 

If you accept the bride and grooms request to be in their bridal party, you’re accepting the financial obligation that it is. You can’t get mad when you have to spend money. You can’t get mad when asked to participate in a wedding related event. You can’t get mad when things are required of you.

Weddings are expensive. Being a part of a wedding is also expensive. It’s not a surprise, so don’t act surprised when you have to pay for things. 

Also, it helps NOT to lie to the couple at all. You never know, they may actually know the truth before you lie. And then you look like a fool. 

And for the record, it’s really shitty if you’re the only bridesmaid that doesn’t participate or doesn’t make themselves part of the group. The bride picked you for a reason, don’t make her regret it. Being a bridesmaid is an honor because it means you’re important to the bride. She should be important enough to you to to be treated with respect.  

With that said, get your damn hair and makeup done because regardless of what you think about you skills, they’re nowhere near good enough to be professional. and make sure you’re there when everyone’s getting ready. Don’t come late. 
Remember, it’s not about you. Don’t be a jerk and make the bride fire you. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gentlemen,



A.Squared 

Adulting · Confession · Family · friends · invitations · life · Love · RSVP · Seating Chart · True life · True story · Uncategorized · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Don’t Invite Eveyone You’ve Ever Met…

For the love of god, stop inviting me to weddings. 


I mean this in the nicest way possible… if there’s a nice way to say this. I feel like I’m working just to be able to give reasonable wedding gifts, and I’m no longer ‘about that life’.

And FYI, I swear to GOD if people don’t give me back what I’ve given them as a gift, I’m going to be so angry. Some of you are thinking ‘Wow, that’s selfish,’ and that’s ok because the ones that are thinking ‘Yes girl, preach!’ are the ones who truly get me. 

Weddings are so expensive. You never get back what you spend unless you’re fortunate enough to have parents help or pay for the whole thing (and if you are, I’m jealous!). And after all is said and done, you could have had a house. 

Thankfully we already have a house. 

Stupidly we decided to get a house at the same time as planning and paying for a wedding. 

I make bad choices, and I’ve accepted that. 



Anyway, if we haven’t spoken in a year, whether we’re related or not, don’t invite me to the wedding. I don’t need to be there. You know it. I know it. We’ve drifted apart. It’s probably because I don’t like you. It could be because you don’t like me. But let’s be honest, I’m a gem. You like me.
 
I’m kind of joking… but not 100%. 

Anyway, I’m going to give you the hard truth. If you don’t hangout with people regularly, odds are they don’t want to be invited to your wedding. In the last two years, I’ve been to a few dozen weddings. They’re all the same. Every bride is beautiful. The food is mediocre at best. The DJ’s are usually pretty good. The bands are decent. Photographers should be given awards for capturing love that isn’t always there. And if you don’t invite me to your wedding, I’m going to live, I swear. 

(Side Note: if you’re having a really cool, non-traditional wedding, still invite me. I like new things.)

Also, don’t act like saving money isn’t the best thing on earth when you’re planning a wedding. I’m helping you save money by not being invited. That’s TWO plates you’re saving money on. The least you can do is thank me. 

So, with all that being said, cool it with the invitations. I’m poor. I have no social life. I can barely afford food right now. 

We’ll see how things are after my wedding, which you probably weren’t invited to because we haven’t spoken since Hugh school, when I no longer owe every red cent to a vendor or the venue. I mean, I probably still won’t want to go, but you can ask. 


Much love and good luck ladies and gentlemen,



A.Squared

P.S. This blog was written with excessive sarcasm so don’t get your panties in a knot!

Adulting · Body image · College · Confession · Fake friends · Family · friends · Grad school · Graduate School · Growing up · Homeowner · Honeymoon · Houses · In-laws · Job · Kids · life · Love · New Home · Opinions · Uncategorized · Wedding · work

Suggestions!


We love hearing from our readers so if you have a suggestion for a blog, wedding related or not, please email us! We’ll be sure to write back and address your idea as soon as possible!


Much love and good luck ladies and gentlemen,



A.Squared

Adulting · Fake friends · friends · Honeymoon · life · Love · RSVP · True life · True story · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Wedding Rants. 


RSVP’s have a due date. They also have a self addressed, stamped envelope for you to mail back your RSVP. PLEASE, tell me why it’s so hard to put it in the mailbox? You check your mail every day, just throw it in there!

Don’t send it to me 2 weeks late and expect me to squeeze you into the seating chart cause it’s not happening! And don’t think that just telling me you’re coming is sufficient. We invited 200+ people and I can’t remember if I ate breakfast at this point so send the damn RSVP! 

Next. Don’t let shitty people get you down. They will try, some of them won’t even realize they’re doing it (but believe, some do). Let it roll off your back. They feed off your feelings. Don’t let them see their negative attitudes phase you. 

Don’t wait til the last minute to do your centerpieces because it’s stressful and no one wants to help because everyone’s selfish. I’m kidding, but seriously, were 45 days out and I have ONE free weekend between now and the wedding and I have 300 things to do on that ONE. SINGLE. DAY.
 
No problem. I got this. 

After that I just need jewelry, an undergarment, a strapless bra, shoes… basically everything except the actual dress.

Ladies, do everything early. You can never do anything too early. 

That’s all I got for today. I’m so stressed out I don’t even know who I am right now. And it one more person tells me everything is going to work out I’m going smash their faces in because that’s useless advice!


Much love ladies and gentlemen,



A.Squared

Adulting · Confession · Family · friends · invitations · life · Love · True story · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

WHERE DID THE TIME GO?


With my wedding drawing near, I have an undeniable knot in my stomach that feeds on anxiety. 

I’ve gone in and out of the wedding room (spare room over-run with wedding essentials, bridal party gifts, unfinished centerpieces… you get the picture) a hundred times and get so overwhelmed that I shut the door and run away…

 
This is not a helpful behavior, as you might have figured out. I kept telling myself I had time before I really needed to get down to business and now business is in 2 months…

 
SO, in the next 2 weeks my goal is to have the centerpieces complete, finish the favors, and get the ceremony written up. We’re having my fiancé’s uncle marry us and he needs a script. He’s a great guy and always so willing to help with anything anyone needs, but he has a little trouble focusing.

 
Have I mentioned we haven’t gone for tuxes yet? Cause we haven’t gone for tuxes yet… We have an appointment so I’m not a total failure in that area. And I’ve got my first official wedding dress fitting scheduled as well so I’ve got that going for me.

 
All the vendors are locked down and mostly paid for. Only one of them is a day of payment. Don’t even talk to me about the balance that is still owed to the venue because it makes my skin crawl. If I can offer you any advice at all, make monthly payments to your venue. That was our plan but because we thought we had SO MUCH TIME LEFT, we skipped some months and now here we are, scraping change from under out car seats and between the couch cushions…

 
I’m joking, but seriously we have a large balance and it is sickening.

 
So, NEWSFLASH, you don’t have that much time. It can’t wait. It won’t be available if you hold off another week. And for the love of god, find a comfortable pair of shoes as soon as possible so you’re not driving yourself crazy and running yourself ragged. You’ll thank me later.
 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

 

A.Squared 

Adulting · Confession · Family · friends · Growing up · Job · Kids · life · Residential treatment center · True life · True story · work

What it’s like Working in an RTC. 


Awesome. 

Awesome in the same way getting a shark bite is awesome. It’s not, but you have a cool story of heroism to tell after the fact.

But seriously, I actually love my boys, but like with anything else, they can be absolutely infuriating at times. 

Unfortunately, you can’t take those infuriating times to heart because they often don’t mean what they say and don’t know how to express themselves. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when the most vile things come out of their mouths and they mean it… but most of the time they don’t… at least I tell myself that. 

Every single day is trying and it’s exhausting and it makes you question why you come to work to have kitchen chairs thrown at you, or your life threatened (empty threats, thank goodness), or the siding of a building smack you in the head… but at the end of the day, if you made one kid feel seen and/or heard, that’s enough. 

It takes a special person to work in a residential treatment center. I’ve been at mine for 4 years and I’ve seen more people come and go than stay. Some people last a day, a week, if you’re lucky they last a month but then they just stop showing up… but some of us stay and we stay because we know the kids need us. They need stability. They need people who aren’t there only for a paycheck, but to do what they can to help these kids in a system that fails them every single day. 

I left full-time because I needed more money, but I stayed part-time because I didn’t want the kids to feel abandoned. I’ve seen how they react when staff quit, or get fired, or forget about them, and it’s terrible. You may not realize it, but we make bonds with these kids and when they graduate and move on from the RTC, it’s heartbreaking. 

If we’re being honest, some of them I’d help pack their bags and move them out myself, but for the most part, my boys are good and they respect me the way I respect them. When I come to work they all come say hello and ask for a hug. They ask me if I’ll be the one to take them off campus. And I know that I don’t have to worry about them because we have an understanding. 

So, in a nutshell, that’s what it’s like to work in a RTC. It can be awesome, but it can also test your patience and crush your soul. How it affects you depends on the person you are. Either you’re strong enough to work with these kids, or you’re not. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared

Adulting · Fake friends · Family · friends · Growing up · In-laws · Love · Mean girls · Opinions · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Weddings Bring Out The Worst In People. 

Shout out to the friends who you don’t have to be in constant contact with. 
Having a wedding really brings out the worst in people. It certainly brings out the best in some people, but what you don’t hear about is how horrible people are… people that you thought were friends and even people you’re related to so, don’t be surprised if you get let down.

I’m not saying this to be mean or ruin your special day, I’m saying it because no one told me (and the other half of A.Squared) and we were blindsided by both family and ‘friends’. 

When you have a wedding, it’s supposed to be the happiest time in your life, but there are a lot of bumps along the way. Imagine flying down a Rocky Mountain in a little red wagon, because it’s comparable to that. 

So now, I’ll share with you our experiences.

I invited a couple to my wedding who I thought we were friends with. When asking for their new address, they made it very, very clear we weren’t friends anymore. Ok, cool. But it didn’t stop there. They proceeded to throw stuff in our face that had no connection to the invitation itself or them being invited, things that had nothing to do with them and things that were over 1-1.5 years old. I was upset at first about the whole thing because they knew what my circumstances were and disregarded them, but now, I’m relieved. Two less people to pay for and toxicity is gone from my life. 

My partner had family issues. I won’t get into too much detail but basically her future sister-in-law ruins everything, and her future mother and father-in-law make everything difficult, including withholding money from them to finish paying off the wedding. Money they were promised, that was acquired at a special party to raise money for their wedding. 


The point here is, weddings sometimes bring out the worst in people and there’s nothing you can do about it. You have to let it roll of your back and roll with the punches because they’re going to keep coming no matter what you do. Grab a glass of wine and let it go. 

Remember that it’s your day. You’re the most important person and whatever you want goes. Don’t be afraid to speak up and take charge. Don’t let anyone take anything away from you or your day. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gentlemen,


A.Squared

Adulting · Family · In-laws · invitations · Love · Opinions · RSVP · Uncategorized · Wedding · wedding invitations · Wedding Planning

Invitations/RSVP’s… Part 3?


Ok.

Here’s the thing. Getting an invitation to a wedding doesn’t mean you get to ask for special things, unless you have a food allergy/need. That you can have without a problem.

What you can’t have is an extra invitation for people you want to invite. If you want to pay for this 20+ grand wedding, by all means invite whoever you want, but if you’re not, kindly shut up. 

If it’s an adults only wedding, please don’t ask to bring your kids because the answer is no. If you were given an invitation without a guest, it’s ok to ask why but don’t demand you get to bring a guest. The reason you didn’t get one is because you’re probably not dating anyone or the person you are dating is a terrible human being. I mean, I don’t know you but those are two pretty good reasons. 


And to the brides and the grooms out there, because you too mess up on occasion, for the love of god, have an open bar. If you don’t, you can’t really expect people to give you a nice gift (in NY, we do cash). You can’t expect people to come to your wedding, give you cash, and then continue to open their wallets to enjoy themselves… or get through your horrifically boring wedding. Just sayin’. 


Keep it classy. Everyone. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,


A.Squared

Adulting · invitations · Love · RSVP · Uncategorized · Wedding · Wedding Planning

Let’s Get Real About RSVP’s


Basically, don’t be a jerk. 

If you get a wedding invitation, respond. If you know you can’t go, RSVP right away instead of waiting til the last minute. 1) The bride and groom will actually be relieved they’re saving money because weddings are so incredibly expensive and 2) It’s a dick move not to respond. If you can’t understand this logic, wait til you get married and don’t complain when it takes forever to get your guests responses back. 

Another thing, if you get an invitation from someone and you don’t feel like you should have, for whatever reason, don’t be an asshole about it. Don’t contact the bride and/or groom to let them know you’re not friends and question why you were even invited. It makes you look like a piece of trash, and it makes the bride and groom feel terrible because they clearly valued the friendship you all had more than you did. 

The bottom line is, RSVP as soon as you get the invitation if you like the couple that is inviting you. Invitations go out early enough that you most likely don’t have anything planned that day so, why are you waiting? You get the RSVP card and an envelope with a stamp on it so all you have to do is put it back in the mailbox. And likewise, if you open an invitation and think to yourself ‘Wow, I hate these people,’ RSVP no. Period. 

Just do it. Don’t be a dick. 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

A.Squared