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Your First Married Christmas

Get ready for custom made everything that says ‘Our First Christmas’ because everyone thinks they’re so cute and so clever and so original.

Meanwhile, most people don’t get married within a year… I said most so don’t get crazy. Anyway, more than likely it isn’t your first Christmas together but that doesn’t matter because you’re going to get a dozen ornaments that say that anyway. I get it Susan, you like custom ornaments. I’ll just go put this next to the 13 other ornaments I have that say my dogs name on it…. that’s another thing you get dozens of for some reason. Like, yes my dog is my life and I treat him like a child but I don’t need 15 custom ornaments that say Gizmo.

I had to get a second tree just so I could hang all of the ornaments that say ‘Just Engaged’, “Just Married”, “Our First Christmas’, and ‘Gizmo. It’s out of control.

Anyway, another thing that happens if you were married relatively close to the holiday, you skip gifts. I don’t know about anyone else but when we got married we each got something we really wanted with some of the money and the rest went into savings. Now we’re just about at Christmas and our parents are harassing us about what we want for gifts when we all know its going to be some custom crap about it being our first Christmas anyway, and we don’t want to blow the entire savings so we buy the bare minimum for everyone, excluding each other, and call it a day. And you and your spouse will agree to not get each other anything so you can save some money but deep down you know you’ll get crucified if you don’t get the other person a gift so you cave and get something but it comes in the mail when you’re not home so your spouse knows you got them something and knows exactly what it is because they’re nosey AF and read the label and then google it.

It’s so fun being married.

And if you’re really lucky, your mom will let you have Christmas Eve because you have a house now and you’re married and you should inherit the holiday. So you get to clean the entire house alone, cook for 35 people, and clean it all up after they all leave.

(eye roll, grunt)

 

Much love and good luck ladies and gents,

 

A.Squared

 

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