For the love of god, stop inviting me to weddings.
And FYI, I swear to GOD if people don’t give me back what I’ve given them as a gift, I’m going to be so angry. Some of you are thinking ‘Wow, that’s selfish,’ and that’s ok because the ones that are thinking ‘Yes girl, preach!’ are the ones who truly get me.
Weddings are so expensive. You never get back what you spend unless you’re fortunate enough to have parents help or pay for the whole thing (and if you are, I’m jealous!). And after all is said and done, you could have had a house.
Thankfully we already have a house.
Stupidly we decided to get a house at the same time as planning and paying for a wedding.
I make bad choices, and I’ve accepted that.
Anyway, if we haven’t spoken in a year, whether we’re related or not, don’t invite me to the wedding. I don’t need to be there. You know it. I know it. We’ve drifted apart. It’s probably because I don’t like you. It could be because you don’t like me. But let’s be honest, I’m a gem. You like me.
I’m kind of joking… but not 100%.
Anyway, I’m going to give you the hard truth. If you don’t hangout with people regularly, odds are they don’t want to be invited to your wedding. In the last two years, I’ve been to a few dozen weddings. They’re all the same. Every bride is beautiful. The food is mediocre at best. The DJ’s are usually pretty good. The bands are decent. Photographers should be given awards for capturing love that isn’t always there. And if you don’t invite me to your wedding, I’m going to live, I swear.
(Side Note: if you’re having a really cool, non-traditional wedding, still invite me. I like new things.)
Also, don’t act like saving money isn’t the best thing on earth when you’re planning a wedding. I’m helping you save money by not being invited. That’s TWO plates you’re saving money on. The least you can do is thank me.
So, with all that being said, cool it with the invitations. I’m poor. I have no social life. I can barely afford food right now.
We’ll see how things are after my wedding, which you probably weren’t invited to because we haven’t spoken since Hugh school, when I no longer owe every red cent to a vendor or the venue. I mean, I probably still won’t want to go, but you can ask.
P.S. This blog was written with excessive sarcasm so don’t get your panties in a knot!